Reply to My MIL sucks- should I even care?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People asked and I answered. If she spent time with my family and more specifically my son I wouldn't complain. Spending time together is worth more then $$$. She just seems to let our family down in every way. I've been talking a lot to DH about her upcoming visit and I think airing my issues with his mother has helped. He understands and feels similar but explained that this is his mom and she is who she is. He's spent years in therapy dealing with his family issues with her. He never really knew how I felt and airing it helped. Trust me, I'm ready to not give a s!!t. [/quote]

Whether it's time or money, your MIL most likely has her reasons for giving your family less than DH's siblings' families, whether you agree with them or not is another thing.  Do you have any inkling what these reasons are?  I personally think that it would help with your 'closure'/not giving a s*&t to know and understand these reasons.

I have a brother who has always gotten less from our parents compared to us siblings.  He has a DS and during the first 3-4 years of his life, my parents sent no gifts and made little effort to see their grandson despite living just 30 miles away.  We are on the opposite coast yet our parents have seen DD about every 3-4 months since birth and regularly send gifts. They refused to give him a loan to help with a downpayment yet bought a house in another sibling's name (not mine, btw) despite other sibling being much better off.  Around the same time, our parents sent DH and me an extravagant five-figure wedding gift.  Told that way, our parents would seem cruel for showing favoritism, especially towards their grandkids.  But the reality is that there is a very long backstory, part of which is that my brother doesn't make the best life choices and our parents feel that what help they have given him has been pointless.  As to the grandkids, my brother (and SIL) were not on good terms with our parents during DS's early years and did not invite them to their DS's birthday parties, etc., so my parents felt like what is the point of us sending a gift, our grandson doesn't know who we are.  There is fault on both sides, as is usually but not always the case.  In these situations, people, including my brother and SIL, tend to gloss over their responsibility while being very critical over others', which lends itself to bitterness and feelings of unfairness.  [/quote]

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