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[quote=Anonymous]Are you me?  I am married to an adopted DH with ILs who are nice and with whom I have a cordial relationship but the relationship is entirely surface-level.  They ask relatively little of us but they have no other people in their lives--just us--and if we don't invite them for holidays they are alone.  Just once I would like to choose what we do for a holiday.  Instead I host every single one.  But at the same time I complain about that I feel bad for it.  They are nice to me and nice to my kids but we don't get much out of the relationship.  It is not reciprocal--it is us doing everything and them on the receiving end.  Just once I would like to be invited by someone for an occasion and not have to do so much goddamn work.  I am exhausted with these kids.  Also, my DH has the same adoption-relation issues yours does with his parents.  He went to therapy for many years to address them.  Finding his birth mom helped.  I suspect that you are envious of more reciprocal, tighter family relationships with involved grandparents.  I know I am.  [/quote]

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