Reply to DH and I constantly fighting over child care

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Reply to "DH and I constantly fighting over child care - how do you do it?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Hello -

I have never heard of a schedule like this, but I think that the poster who suggested that you keep track of free time has the right idea if you are worried that it is not going to be fair. I also think you should seek some counseling to figure this out before you start to resent him and before your child iis older and understands what is going on, or you have another.

My husband and I are both professional (although until recently I was a stay at home mom) with the same amount of education (I actually have a little more thanmy husband). Our jobs are equally busy and we make similar amounts of money. We have similar responsibilities at work as well.

I would say that I am primarily responsible for the home and the kids and I would not have it any other way. It takes a lot of planning and pre/after work prep, but I am happy to do it. I also have help. We do not keep track of who does what with regards to the children. I plan and make all their meals, schedule their activities and am the primary contact for our caregiver. I wake up at night with them and put them to sleep in the evenings, although my husband helps with bathtime and dinnertime. Yes, there are some days where I think it is not fair, but, in my opinion, it is never going to be fair. My husband is wonderful and helps out as much as he can, but it will never be even. The role of mother is different than father..I see this as a reality. The best thing you can do is find yourself an outlet or if you can afford it, some help. I have accepted that my life will never be the same (and am happy about that) and gladly put my children's needs before mine. That is what my mom did (as well as my mother in law) and that is what I do. Honestly, my husband and I have the opposite argument - especially when I was at home that I did not do enough for myself and was losing who I was in being a mother!

I am sure you will figure it out.

Best of luck to you -

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