Reply to Is this ridiculous? DH and I disagree over whether to have another child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think either of you is being ridiculous, but the "No" always wins in this particular argument. Sorry.[/quote]

+1.

Neither of you is being ridiculous.  There are plenty of good reasons for both decisions, but in the end, the trump card is that you never get to make another person have a child they don't want.  It's not fair to your partner and it's not fair to the resulting child.  You may be committed to another child and consider a big family a gift to all of your children, but the lack of commitment pr resentment from the other parent is not healthy for anyone.

While you can afford it, you are already looking at 8-11 years of parenthood depending on how old your older children are).  You husband sees an end to parenting dependents, the light at the end of the tunnel.  Your youngest is 5 and likely will only be fully dependent for another 12-13 years.  However, adding another child will extend that at least 6 years.  That's asking a lot from someone who has explicitly stated that they don't want to take on that responsibility and burden.  You are looking at it from a financial standpoint, that you can afford the money, but part of that is that he is the one who earns the money.  As a SAHP, your job will get easier and have less time commitments as your children grow up.  You'll get more help from them as they move from childhood to young adulthood.  His job will continue with the commitment both work, stress and time until the kids get out of college.  Additionally, if he was looking forward to being able to have some freedom to pursue other non-parental pastimes, then you've also delayed that.

I'm sorry that you two aren't in agreement, but I agree with the sentiment that in these situations, "No" always trumps "Yes".[/quote]

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