Reply to DW bad temper - don't know what to do

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like she is stressed and potentially depressed.

Does she work? Is something going on at her job with too much pressure? If she doesn't work is she frustrated about that? Being fully responsible for other people all the time is very exhausting.

I wasn't going to say it, but was surprised when others mentioned it, but my first thought was Adderall. Makes people super irritable and impatient.

[b]It sounds kind of like you want her to be laid-back about things that you have no idea how much goes into it. You were late picking up things for Valentine's Day, that's nice. Maybe in her mind she assumed you were getting home at the usual time and the kids dinner, bath/bedtime, changing load of laundry, timed cookies in the oven for the kids to bring to bake sale, were all based around that. No it's easier to chill and relax instead of worrying about those things, but someone's gotta do it. Toddlers making a mess all over themselves and constantly cleaning it up 20 times a day is frustrating.[/b] [/quote]

OP, you sound like a great dad and husband but also that you pride yourself on being the easy going one while she is the type A one. Even when we were all young, labels such as that really stick and cause pain. Perhaps as you said, your personalities do not mesh well but the pp above has touched on something important. Someone has to keep the trains running on time, especially with a household with young children and two working parents. It is a much tougher roll to be the one who feels they must be the schedule-follower while the other parent gets to be the easy-going one. Not saying that your wife's behavior is at all okay but you need to realize the dynamics that have formed in your family/marriage. You yourself have said that she says you do not listen to her. Are you really hearing what she is saying? It sounds like she is crying out for help and not the do-the-laundry kind.[/quote]

I still can't get over the hypocrisy. NO ONE would be making ANY type of excuse if this were a DW complaining about a DH.

The DH says he does most of the household work. He is obviously also dropping off and picking up kids from daycare, getting them ready in the morning, etc. He does most of the cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. If this were a DW complaining about her DH, everyone would be saying that if he doesn't like how the laundry is done, then stop doing it, and make him do it. If he doesn't like the cooking, stop cooking and make him find his own food, etc. If he is stressed with long work hours, it doesn't matter, he still needs to be part of the family and part of the household, and still help out around the house... NO ONE would be saying that she needs to see what she can do to help him be less stressed... This is insane![/quote]

+1000 I'm the PP who initially noted the absurd hypocrisy in these responses. The women of DCUM are a damn joke with their constant double standards. They're all about equality and then turn around and dump on men for the exact same things that they're now creating a plethora of excuses for. I wonder if they even realize how ridiculous they sound.[/quote]

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