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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do not answer stupid questions and walk out of the room when he asks again.  Tell him once that you are NOT going to entertain his nonsense and that is it.  It is very hard to argue or harass someone who won't play back.[/quote]

Finally, a reasonable answer.  OP, all these posters telling you to "talk to your husband sternly and tell him he cannot do that" are just..misguided.  You can't tell someone what to do, and you certainly cannot make "telling someone what to do and expecting them to do it" key for resolving conflicts. That's giving your power away to someone else.

The only person you can control is you.  You are the answer. Not him.  He is criticizing you because he sees that you are trying to achieve a criticism-free environment.  The question to ask is: why do you care? Why do you care that he's unhappy with your non-cup-washing ways? Why do you care that he doesn't criticize you?  So, stop caring.  And make him see that.  Make him understand no one cares that he expects the cups to be washed.  Example:

Why didn't you wash that cup?

Didn't feel like it.  (Direct look in his eyes)

(Repeating) Why didn't you wash that cup?

Just to piss you off. (Direct look in his eyes)

Do that enough and it will dawn on him that criticizing you feels bad and you aren't responding to it in any way.  Like a dog.  What you do is make it unpleasant FOR HIM to criticize you.  Pretty soon he will make the connection "um, she doesn't care that I am dissatisfied with her ways of doing things, and she isn't going to change things to satisfy me. She is not up running to do things just to make me NOT criticize her. Plus, when I tell her what to do, she makes me feel stupid. Uh-oh. I don't want to be made feel stupid.  " [/quote]

why would you respond in a hostile, antagonistic way to someone like OP's husband, unless you think he's playing games with her? Why wouldn't you try to understand the root of the problem? My guess would be that you're not very interested in sex nor do you love a person to whom you would repeatedly respond, "just to piss you off."[/quote]
it's not hostility. It's refusal to engage in the search for an answer that would satisfy her husband. You know perfectly well there is nothing she could say that would make him go "OHHH! THAT"s why you didn't wash the cup. I totally understand now." Root of the problem? She doesn't have a problem. Her husband does.  Her problem is that his criticism gets to her. Stop that and it becomes the wind rattling dust.

I am saying no one can criticize you if they see you are not interested in what they think.  Why didn't you wash the cup? Just didn't. End of discussion. You confuse love and sex with absence of boundaries. He needs to see that criticizing and asking questions a hundred times in a row is a road to nowhere. [/quote]

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