Reply to Thinking of encouraging a friend to give up custody of her kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was offended initially as I imagined a friend suggesting this to me. I did, however, do something similar to my own ex when he verbally agreed to allow our child to come overseas for me (my work requires it) for 2 years. He used it as leverage to control me for months until I finally called his bluff and said that I thought we should strongly consider having DC remain here with him and I could just visit. It was total BS on my part, as I would have just pulled my assignment, but he called to arrange a time to sign for the passport two days later. Since he didn't want me to move on, I knew that the last thing he wanted was for me to be fancy free in a new country to date. OP might have a point, to call his bluff. But really, I think her friend has bigger issues if her fiance is unwilling to move. I wouldn't consider moving DC away forever.[/quote]

This is very interesting.  My SIL did the same with my BIL (DH's husband).  He is abusive and kept her a virtually paralysed because of their daughter (our niece), until SIL told him to raise the daughter alone and left the house.   Now, she is free with her daughter (seperated permanently but not divorced).  Neither my BIL nor my ILs are in any position to take care of a child.

I think the OPs friend can start with having the ex take care of the kids at least 50% of the time.  [/quote]

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