Reply to Pick up drop off fight with DH.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  I DONT WAKE UP AT 7:30am.  I LEAVE THE HOUSE AT 7:30 am. How could I wake up at 7:30 and have an 8:05 start time? (Which I agree is so insanely stupid and offensive that I had to get a MEMO for, but my boss/job are great in most every other way)

My DH also travels a lot, and he is gone his fair share over weekends, and I need to be really clear.  He's NOT deployed. He has a desk job, he is not in harm's way. We are both well educated, and we both have reasonably important jobs.  His life is not harder than mine, his personal time is not more valuable.  I made a choice to marry into the Army, but he made a choice to be in the Army, and have a child with a professional woman. I'm literally asking that he does maybe 10-12 minutes of help in the morning with OUR child. [/quote]

I was a single mom from the start and did pick up and drop off myself.

With the incredibly short time frames you have in the morning, it's better if only one of you does the prep work. Adding in your DH will only prolong not shorten the situation.

Get yourself completely ready for the day before you walk into your child's room.

Potty first thing.

If you want to give your DS a choice in clothing, do that the night before. Otherwise, just pick out something and put it on.

For socks and shoes, he does whichever one he can do quicker and you do the other.  Or put on his socks and then hand him his shoes in the car to put on.  He has until you get to daycare to do it and if not you will put them on.

I could easily get out the door in 15-20 minutes which included taking care of 2 dogs when my child was 2.  It's just a matter of routine.

Pick up and evenings - since there is more time, that's a better place to get DH's involvement and for you to slow down and catch a break.[/quote]

I appreciate the advice and won't insult you by saying "I'm basically a single mom" bc I know I'm not, but I have the routine down.  Like I say to my DH, it's not that I CAN'T do it.  I do it solo all the time. I got through the first two years by pretending I was a single mom, so that I was never counting on DH, so I could never be let down. It's not that I cannot do the morning, and not take lunch, and do the evening pick up and dinner and clean up. It's that I feel resentment about it when I'm rushing and he's doing...honestly I don't even know...downstairs.

I have 7 pairs of the same pants.  I have 14 pairs of socks and underwear, I have 14 professional blouses. I keep suit jackets at work.  I know how to do routine. [/quote]

OP, are you one of those women who doesn't think her husband can do anything right because he doesn't do it the way you do it? That's the vibe I get from your last comment, about assuming you'd be let down. Maybe that's why he won't show initiative in caring for the kid. [/quote]

Or maybe he's selfish?[/quote]

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