Reply to s/o how much money do you need to make to provide for a SAHM?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]By mistake, I read the other thread about all women aspiring to be housewives. Need to know what I'm working with here.[/quote]

Why, what did you read in the other thread that concerned you?[/quote]

Because I've never been driven by a desire to "provide" for someone. Am I in the minority?[/quote]

Do you even have kids?? DH and I both wanted to work (and we do) but it was heartbreaking not having a choice between working and staying home. [/quote]

No kids. I recently finished grad school and have been getting my career started in DC. But I do not realistically foresee my income increasing beyond low six figures. I guess I just didn't realize this was such a deal breaker for women this day in age.[/quote]

Come back and tell us how tired and stressed you are when both you and your wife work long inflexible hours, don't have time for your kids and your family is stressed. You are naive. [/quote]

This is exactly the problem. Many lower middle class strivers come to high COL areas and do jobs they love or have an important mission, only to realize later they should have been chasing the $$$ if they want kids and TIME to see those kids.

OP this DH learned this lesson the hard way and my career is too advanced to change to make more lucrative. But you should tack now into and be more ambitious about income. I was so excited to make twice as much as my parents had ever made together, $80k... hah hah was so naive. Probably still naive because I really have no idea how people swing these $500k careers. But do wish I had investigated when I was younger and could take more risk. [/quote]

OP - I did not come from a LMC background. Maybe my outlook is skewed because I was raised in a two income household. My mother still works because she loves her job and she is at the top of her field.

I am also clueless as to what these high-income individuals do for a living. I have friends working in numerous fields and none of them are raking in 250k+. In addition, there is little chance they ever will. Those jobs are difficult to come by. I cannot imagine just waltzing in to a job like that. [/quote]

What schools did your friends go to?

Medical specialist, 5th year big law associate, high finance, 2-3years post MBA at MBB consulting - those are the four paths I know tons of late 20/early 30 people making 250k+

Did you go to a top school or tailgate state? [/quote]

LMC DH here, I actually went to a top school (Ivy) but hung out with other science geeks and had no idea about income spectrum between highly educated scientists and engineers GS doctors, MBA, and never even heard of MBB.

And a parent staying home was easy back home, you can pick up an 80s home for $70k with seven schools. Just no jobs which was the catch I figured out too late :)[/quote]

NP. My parents were poor Asian immigrants. I went to an ivy. Most of my friends went into law, medicine, management consulting and finance. I think most of us earned six figures at our first job. DH also grew up poor with Asian immigrant parents. We now have a seven figure income. Most all our friends earn high six figures. Many of our friends from school come from family money.

Not sure who you hung out with in college and grad school.[/quote]

You parents were poor Asian immigrants who were smart and potentially educated enough to navigate emigrating from halfway across the world to provide for a better life. There are a lot of LMC students coming from rural backwaters and inner cities whose parents... are less adept.

We all worked hard, but our life had been consumed on how to get out of the sticks or the 'hood, and the plan beyond that we had no idea.  We were not obsessed with earning money, which is kind of the driver for a lot of folks who go into law, finance, and management consulting (and to some degree medicine) -- but instead were geeks interested in deep understanding of how the universe worked or building something cool.  But unless you stumbled into a tech bubble, these types tend to toil away underpaid at corporate, academic, or government labs.  Which I think is similar to OP who is looking at a grad degree but never breaking $100k -- he is following his passion, and not realizing it really limits his options for a sane family life b/c both parents will need to work.

And PP, Asian immigrants children doing well is a cliche? But how many doctors or CEOs are from Appalachia or the inner city of Baltimore?  There are a lot of factors at play here, but your story is well known, and you did not face quite as formidable obstacles as you think.[/quote]

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