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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like a good opportunity to talk about how people make different choices with their money, but don't always own their choices.  Your son has nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.  Maybe teach him to brush off the remarks with a "yeah, yeah, but I can still kick your butt at Call of Duty" (or whatever.)

I am a single mom, but I have more money than my brother and his wife.  She chose to pursue a degree that wasn't marketable, took time off to stay home with kids and then became a school lunch lady.  Occasionally I've gotten the casual remarks about how they don't have enough money to do this or that.  My SIL thinks our whole family is rich so she's always trying to get people (my dad, my other BIL) to pay for stuff for them.  But if she had made the sacrifices to have a career, they'd have more money.

You need to talk to your ex - this is really not cool - they are clearly talking to their kids about something that should really just be an adult thing.  But I do have one question - does he pay child support?  Is he trying to set up a situation where he reduces support because they are "struggling" and you are fine?[/quote]

OP here.  Yes, he pays child support.  It is not much, really, to be honest, but it covers 2 out of 4 of DS' extracurriculars.  ex-DH and I have the same education, we met in college, we have exactly the same degrees, so it's not like he can't make more money.  His wife is an SAHM, it was their decision.  Her ex-DH is out of the picture and doesn't pay child support so my son's father is basically taking care of kids that are not his own.  I understand it puts a strain on him but then again, it is not my business.  He chose to be married to an SAHM, he chose to stay at the same job for years and not seek employment with a higher salary.  It is not my fault that I can afford to take my DS to Disney World and he can't.  What does he and his wife propose I do?  Take his kids too just because they don't have the money?

I e-mailed ex-DH this morning saying that the "rich kid" jokes ought to stop at once.  His reply was "DS is too sensitive.  But you have to admit, you are spoiling him.  Does he really need to go somewhere fancy for spring break?  Whatever happened to staying home and just relaxing?"  His stepkids' idea of "relaxing at home" is playing video games non-stop!  They are frequently surprised that DS has a book in his hands instead of an iPad. So  yes, I'd rather "spoil" him with a vacation instead of having him in front of a computer for a week or two.

[/quote]

Your husband is such an ass. I don't have a lot of money, but I don't believe that there is anything wrong with enjoying luxuries if you can afford them. Fancy trips and toys in and of themselves do not spoil a child. It's also such a classic jerk move to hurt someone's feelings and then tell them they are too sensitive. Plus, your son is a child who does not control the family finances.

If I were you, and if you can possibly afford it, I would stop accepting child support from him. Then, you can shut down any and all mentions of money like a broken record. [/quote]

Her ex is an ass, but child support is his responsibility. I would stop with the gifts too and make sure that your son knows not to discuss your trips with his siblings during visits.[/quote]

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