Reply to Silly things I worried about: infertility edition

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the PPs are talking past each other. I did 6 rounds of IVF. The actual IVF procedure was largely no big deal (although started feeling like a bigger deal towards the end -- but certainly the first cycle was no big deal). All the failures, though, were heartbreaking.

So, yeah, it does kind of irk me when someone who gets a baby from ONE round of IVF says IVF was no big deal. [b]But I can see how that perspective is helpful to people who are new to the process and fearful of an IVF cycle[/b].[/quote]

This was my point.  Besides all women should take it one cycle at a time and one day at a time.  Also it seems like the women who are fearful are fearful of even just one cycle.  They are terrified of the meds or the side effects or who knows what.  My point is that I didn't find one cycle of IVF a big deal at all and I wouldn't let it keep you from possibly having a child. [/quote]

Yes. We ALL know this is how you feel. You have repeated it ad nauseam on thread after thread. And when other people point out that those women who have reservations about the meds or the process have a right to those legitimate feelings, you shame or bully us and them. Telling people they're just being whiners and to just get over it is pretty crap advice.  [/quote]

Telling other people what they can post is even crappier.[/quote]

No one is telling her what she can post.  They're telling her she's rude.[/quote]

I'm not her, and it certainly seems there are one or two posters here that cluck about every post that they don't deem sufficiently empathetic.  Perhaps you might be happier in life generally if you stop playing the victim.  Or perhaps you should stop reading this board if you are so easily offended.

I've had three miscarriages and I remember how heart breaking each one was, so please, don't tell me how I couldn't possibly understand your pain.  Everyone posting here has had their own heartaches.[/quote]

No one, including me, every said you couldn't possibly understand.  They're saying that her statements completely dismissing other people's legitimate concerns as being "silly things" is absolutely ridiculous, not supportive, and only makes people feel crummy.

She thinks she is motivating people to do something, but she's only alienating people -- and on a forum for people who ALREADY feel alone and kind of alienated by virtue of dealing with infertility.

She's almost as bad as the people who say, "oh, just adopt!  it's no big deal."  Nothing about infertility is no big deal to people who are going through it.  She has a baby now and seems to have forgotten that feeling because now she is chalking it up to "silly things."

It's one thing to say, "I didn't find IVF cycles difficult at all.  I didn't find the meds difficult." in an effort to let others considering it know that at least your experience is encouraging.  It's a completely different thing to tell a group of people who get nonstop advice from everyone about what to do and what not to do to have a baby that their concerns are silly, that their decisions regarding their medical care of "not legitimate."  It's obnoxious.  It's arrogance at the highest level.

More than one poster has told her that, has mentioned people who didn't find it "no big deal," and yet she persists and gets even more obnoxious with every post.

But, yes, you are right.  I should stop visiting this forum.  It's not supportive.[/quote]

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