Reply to Stop telling kids they are "gifted."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Any therapist who works with elementary/MS kids will tell you this is becoming really corrosive. There are a ton of kids really feeling the pressure to remain in gifted programs as they grow older [b]but who were heavily coached in preschool or early elementary[/b] and are just nice, normal kids who are having lots of anxiety issues related to this designation. At MS, sometimes before, it often takes the form of antisocial behavior. 
[/quote]

Well, there's your problem.

[b]Telling your child s/he is gifted, or not telling them, won't hinder them for lif[/b]e.  Kids have been in gifted programs for decades, and some have anxiety and some don't.  The label is not the problem, it's what the parents and child do with the label that's the problem.  [/quote]

Telling your kids they are gifted is not good for them.  It creates the mindset that they are succeeding by innate talent instead of hard work and practice. The first time they get to a difficult place in their studies, kids labeled "gifted" tend to give up and quit because they expect to be able to do it on the basis of innate talent rather than hard work.  Labeling kids "gifted" makes them academically and emotionally  fragile.

http://www.nytimes.com/1998/07/14/science/praise-children-for-effort-not-intelligence-study-says.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/200911/the-problem-giftedness

[/quote]

This. I cringe when people tell my son how smart he is. I want him to learn to work hard and give his best effort. I don't want him to assume that everything will come easily to him. I'm a teacher and see the effects of kids who've been told how gifted they are. A lot of times those are the kids who give very little effort as long as they get high scores on tests and are disinterested in strengthening any relatively weaker skills.[/quote]

I am the parent above with the highly gifted daughter and I despise everything about the "gifted program".  As a teacher, please look out for kids like mine as well.  She literally threw up over a 98%.  If it wasn't 100%, she considered herself a failure.  I couldn't change it.  Her therapist couldn't change it.  Maybe one of her teachers could.  That child is now an ESE (exceptional student education - not sure what you call it at your school) teacher herself and I'm really hoping she can prevent exactly what happened to her from happening to other exceptional kids, regardless of exceptionality.  [/quote]

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