Reply to Stop telling kids they are "gifted."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a highly gifted kid. She was bused off site to gifted centers and we were encouraged to enroll her in college her 7th grade year. She is a National Merit Scholar and recent college grad.

Being labeled "gifted" was the worst thing the schools could have done. She suffers from a fairly serious anxiety disorder even now as an adult. Nothing but perfection is ever good enough. I saw her throw up many times over a grade of 98%.  In college nothing but perfect grades were ok with her. Her entire identity was (is) wrapped up in that fucking label. And nothing we did as parents helped.

If I could go back in time, I would homeschooled.[/quote]

I don't know if the label gave her that much anxiety and perfectionism. Often profoundly gifted people are wired to be anxious and perfectionists...those traits are comorbid. Please don't beat yourself up. Maybe she just needs a little therapy to help her deal with her Anxiety. [/quote]

Thank you for that. Your words brought peace to an internet stranger across the country.

I do beat myself up over it. We have other grown kids and she is the only "gifted" (hate that word) one.  We nearly had to have her hospitalized for anxiety. She is in therapy and on medication and has Valium for panic if she needs it. She is just such a great kid. She teaches ESE in DC. She is sweet to everyone. And she is so beautiful! But she is so sensitive and so introverted.  I just want her to be happy. We moved away and she is alone in the city and homesick and lonely. Wish I could set her up with the perfect guy.  She is 23, wicked smart, great sense of humor, very pretty, and very, very shy. Anyone have an eligible friend? Haha![/quote]

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