Reply to Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it.

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Reply to "Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not sure why all these feminists are so invested in birth names they had no role at all in choosing.  Those are names your parents forced upon you, not that you took consensually and with a conscious choice.  Of you choose to take your husband's last name, that's a deliberate act.  If you refuse to, that's also a deliberate act.  But change it to something else entirely of.yoirnown choosing then.  Otherwise your position makes absolutely no logical sense. [/quote]

It is your identity your entire life! The one with your diplomas, your publications, your email, your yearbook, your entire family tree.

And of course the MAN is also so involved in names he did NOT choose either. Why does he care at all??? Even using your entire logic, you make no sense.

And of course the man is also doing all these acts deliberately, too — whether he chooses to compromise, try to find a solution, has any empathy at all.

It is NOT about being a feminist. It’s about being a HUMAN. A woman can want a traditional marriage (e.g. barefoot and pregnant) AND want her kids to have her name. There is an entire family history there.

Speaking as a DAR who kept my name, gave it to my kids too, and was a trad wife. I can trace my last name 1000 years. Can you?[/quote]

Ok if it's so obvious then why does OP ,need to crowd source this issue to a bunch of belligerent people with an axe to grind?  Because it's not obvious to a normal mentally healthy person that there is anything wrong at all with a.woman taking her husband's last name if they get married.
 
It's simply a preference.  If ops preference to be an angry belligerent feminist is so strong, she should break up with this guy and find another guy to have a dysfunctional relationship with.  
[/quote]

Dude, you have *issues*.  Her boyfriend is the one being uncompromising and belligerent.  A person preferring her own name does not mean she is belligerent.  It is her boyfriend who has taken offense at the conversation and is being insistent and angry about it.

It’s just *weird* that you perceive a woman having an opinion as belligerence when she is the one being flexible and offering compromises while the man is the angry and stubborn one.[/quote]

PP, you're being belligerent too.  That means you want to fight...So does OP.  She doesn't just want to keep her own name, she wants to fight with her boyfriend until he caves in to her point of view. .He's entitled to disagree with her.  If she doesn't like that, she needs to move on.  The problem is unhappy women always find a reason to bail out of relationships.[/quote]

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