Reply to Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it.

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Reply to "Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tell him you’re keeping your own name and the kids that come out of your body will also have your name. (This is very normal these days.)  He’s welcome to join if he wants consistency.[/quote]

I already told him that and he didn't like it. He found the proposal offensive.[/quote]

This says a LOT about some deeply ingrained misogyny in him and I don’t think you are overreacting.

FWIW, I kept my name, my husband kept his, and our son carries mine as his last name and has two middle names including my husband’s last name.  He very seriously considered taking mine primarily because we both love the look and sound of my name and are closer to my family.  In the end, he kept his because he has a daughter from his first marriage who has his name.  But it meant a lot to me that he would be willing to take mine.

I think if one spouse feels so strongly about the family having all the same name, he should be at least 50% willing to change his own name.  If he is insistent on one name but not even willing to even slightly consider him being the one to change his…and actually finds it *offensive* to even suggest it??!  There are deeper issues with this dude about not seeing you as an equal.[/quote]

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