Reply to Former Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is the saddest thread ever. Pages and pages of blaming the victim.  Makes me sick.[/quote]

+1
 
It's actually worse than victim blaming. It's apologizing for a murderous, drunk, rapist.[/quote]

Remember: once upon a time--and, maybe still, she loved him.  He was the father of her children.

That complicates things.  So sad.

I have to admit that when the woman came out with the rape accusation from so many years before, I was doubtful.  The "me too" movement was going full blast then, but I know women who would lie.  (I am a woman.)  I would not have kept quiet for years about that.  Would I have gone to authorities as a very young woman?  Not sure.  I would now, but not sure I would have then.
Remember, the Duke Lacrosse case?  All lies that so many people accepted because they wanted to do so.  Same with Ford.  They wanted to believe her--even though there were so many holes in her story.
Remember the story about the woman who said Kav spiked drinks at parties?  Turned out to be totally bogus--and written by the same reporter who is currently reporting about Patel in the Atlantic.

My phrase would be:  "Listen to all women."  Not "believe."  Gently question them and check the facts.[/quote]

It doesn't complicate anything [i]in terms of her being the victim[/i]. If anything it makes her more the victim. Typically in situations like these the guy has spent years breaking the woman down. She didn't marry him knowing he was like this - in fact he wasn't, as he wasn't an addict before. And the kids chose NONE of this.

When people start to talk about "you chose him as the father of your kids" you participate in the grossest victim blaming possible. As if people never present a false image, sometimes for years. As if they don't change. As if coercive control and abuse aren't complicated beasts.

You know the only commonality that research has found between victims in situations like this? It's not that they're a certain income class, or race, or have a certain family background. It's that they are [b]kind people[/b] (see: the work of Emma Katz - https://dremmakatz.com/coercive-control/explaining-coercive-control-to-people-who-dont-quite-get-it-a-series/).[/quote]

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