Reply to It's official: Gen Z are not delaying marriage til 30s anymore, young weddings are cool again

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Reply to "It's official: Gen Z are not delaying marriage til 30s anymore, young weddings are cool again"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What about the other trend of not marrying at all?

I have coworkers with babies who are not married. [/quote]

This is the actual trend. But it doesn't fit in with the current narrative being pushed [/quote]

UMC/rich kids seem to be getting married younger. These kids likely have the support of the rich parents.

Poor and MC young adults may not have the money for a wedding or to buy a house. Our kids will have college, grad school, wedding and at least down payment from the parents. I would rather my kids marry relatively young in their twenties and have kids young.

I come from humble beginnings and traveled a ton in my twenties after I started working. My kids have been traveling internationally since they were young. My kids are still minors and been to Europe and Asia several times and the US/Caribbean countless times. It isn’t like they need to spend their twenties traveling and enjoying life. They have been doing this since being born.
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Traveling with mama is not what people mean when they say "travel and see the world." That you would unironically write that tells me so much about you.
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DP.

What does “travel and see the world” mean if not travel and see the world, which one can do with their friends, their parents, or even by themselves!

Do you mean getting drunk, high, and having sex with random strangers?  That’s the only scenario in which you’re right and one would not get that experience traveling with mama…[/quote]

No they mean exploring the world on your own without your parents paying for everything and holding your hand the entire time. Navigating a foreign transportation system or a language you don't speak on your own without well-traveled parents who can always step in to explain or guide.

I traveled a ton between birth and age 12 because my dad worked for a huge international company and we lived all over the world as he helped set up offices and factories for them. And then even after we settled in the US so I could have a "normal" high school experience we still traveled abroad a lot. So I was a "well-traveled" kid. But when I traveled in my 20s on my own I learned different things about myself. It was a totally different experience. Independence is a really powerful thing to explore and I do think I would have missed out on something if I'd married straight out of college even though obviously I wasn't lacking in opportunities to travel.

I never did the drinking and drugging and casual sex type of travel btw. I did meet lots of interesting people but I have always known to be cautious when traveling abroad.[/quote]

[b]You’re speaking from an upper middle class / wealthy bubble[/b].  The vast majority of American kids, teens, and young adults will NEVER “see the world”.  For the average American family a trip to a single European country for a week is literally a once-in-lifetime event.

So you can continue to split hairs about whether seeing the world as a kid “counts” or not, but just understand that it’s irrelevant.[/quote]

DP. Isn’t that the topic of this thread?

Anyway, the point was that most young adults would benefit from getting TF out of their hometown. “Seeing the world” doesn’t just mean visiting some tourist trap in Europe. 
[/quote]

So wait, are you talking about upper middle class young people who have almost certainly been out of their hometown?  Or are you talking about lower class young people who not only have likely not gotten out of their hometown, but will never do so regardless of their age at marriage?[/quote]

Most young adults should become independent and ideally live somewhere else before settling down.

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Why?[/quote]

DP. If you go directly from being dependent on your parents to being committed to another person, you don’t get many opportunities to make decisions that are purely in your own self-interest, for better or for worse. Regardless of what age one gets married—if they get married—once they start checking the boxes of the traditional nuclear family, they might start to keenly feel the possibilities of how their life might turn out getting narrower and narrower. Which is normal and fine, but there’s that sweet spot right after college where there are just so many possibilities! What a wonderful thing and a great time to take chances, make mistakes with minimal consequences. Figure out what’s really important to
you. The more people you have hitched to you, the harder those risks are to take. [/quote]

You can of course do that, but it is neither ideal nor necessary.  It is merely one way to live your life.

I also can’t help but wonder how many folks on this thread are crowing about the supposed importance of living independently (particularly from their parents) while simultaneously receiving handouts.  This area is rife with trust fund babies and people who had their entire undergraduate and graduate educations fully financed by mom and dad.  Weddings paid for!  Down payment assistance!  College savings for the grandkids!  And so on.

Some of us had to learn to be independent much earlier than many of the rich kids turned rich adults posting here…[/quote]

You sound angry and like you have a chip on your shoulder. I'm sorry you didn't have successful parents, but there's nothing wrong with paying for your kid's education, engagement ring, wedding, honeymoon, and helping with a down payment on a first house. There is nothing to romanticize about starting adulthood in some student loan and rental apartment usury trap.[/quote]

By extension...there's then nothing wrong with subsidizing every expense of your child for life.  Of course that happens quite often with massive Trusts for kids.

I don't care one way or the other, but why stop at the things you list?[/quote]

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