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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]At what age do you recommend refusing food?  (Not dessert—proteins, main courses.) My child was malnourished as an infant.  Insatiable once we met her.  Should I have denied my 12 month old extra chicken and pear because her siblings would not have eaten so much and my friends’ kids did not?  For the record, she wouldn’t eat what was in one hand until she had something in the other hand so she could be sure there was something more. 
She is currently obese.  Everyone judges me for it.  So I’d like the honest answer of whether I failed in denying her seconds at 9 months?  2 years?  What’s the magic age at which it’s ok for her to feel insecure because she’s afraid she won’t have enough food?  Seriously—I think about it every day so I’d like the experts to tell me where I screwed up.[/quote]

I think around K or 1st is when you can say: that’s enough food, dinner is over and if you’re still hungry you can have some carrot or celery sticks.

One thing to teach them is not to eat until their stomach is full because it takes a while to gauge fullness. So if you’ve eaten to the point of complete fullness then you start to feel overfull later on.

You also have to recognize their triggers. For instance if they are “bored” eaters then have a plan to play outside or walk immediately after dinner.

In your daughter’s case, since there is legitimate trauma to work through, perhaps therapy is in order.[/quote]

Wow someone with some sense! That’s not what pp wants to hear though. Her daughter is obese and it’s no one’s fault and there is nothing anyone can do!

I was in target yesterday and I saw an obese woman and her equally obese 6-7 year old and this poor child was so large they were struggling to walk. I don’t understand how people can let that happen to their kids. [/quote]

I’m the parent here. I never said no one’s at fault.  My child has been in therapy and has had a nutritionist for many years.  Both agree on not limiting nutritious food.  We limit dessert and junk in a way parents of her skinny friends do not need to.  But it’s always interesting to hear what the people who are judging her on the playground and in dance class think is the right answer based on their education and experience with childhood trauma.  [/quote]

I mean the answer was not to let her become obese in the first place. You are the parent. The only way a one year old can eat themselves into obesity is if the patents allow and enable it. But of course it is easier to let your toddler shovel endless amount of food down their gullet than dealing with them crying I guess![/quote]

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