Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Regardless of the reason for the divorce, I simply don't understand why a one-sentence truthful answer is a problem for children. I divorced your mom because she was lying to me about purchases and draining our bank account and I  couldn't get her to be truthful to me. I divorced your dad because he was an alcoholic and when he drank he became violent with me. I divorced your mom because while at work she was having an affair for years with the neighbor and is now going to marry him. I get not making the person out to be all bad and going on and on about it, but I don't understand lying or complete avoidance.[/quote]

For little kids sure they don't get all this stuff but for older kids close to 18 or slightly older and now adults I don't understand why you wouldn't want to be truthful. For one a lot of these issues are genetic and so they will have to watch out for their own predisposition. Secondly, they should know what issues were in the marriage so they can avoid them in their own relationships. A good number of divorces happen right before or right after the kids leave the nest. I don't really feel like my kids would have given me a pass on "dad and I didn't get along" as a reason.[/quote]

A 13-year old can understand that for chrissakes, especially one living in 2022 with what they see on their iPhones, Tik Tok and hear in school. Give me a break.[/quote]

Agreed but I'm not the one advocating to keep divorce reasons a secret. I can understand why a little kid though wouldn't get any of these issues and so what's the point of explaining them since the whole purpose is to avoid confusions, but waiting until age 50 to find out the reason for your parents divorce is just not helpful.[/quote]

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