Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Parenting has nothing to do with cheating[/quote]

This isn’t accurate.  A cheating parent can be diverting assets from the family, and certainly time that might otherwise be spent with kids.  A cheating parent can also cause trauma to the other parent, which then impacts the kids.  It also often causes destruction of the family, which certainly impacts parenting (at a bare minimum, giving the parent only 50% access to kids.  [b]This is the problem with cheaters who compartmentalize the cheating as “just sex” - it really can’t be kept in that box[/b].[/quote]

+1  They ALWAYS begin to become overly critical to their spouse and often their kids.

The stress of the secrets and fear of getting caught also drives anger (inappropriate reaction to minor things).  They will miss certain things in order to 'meet up', maybe a weekend out of town or overnights that aren't necessary.

IF it's during the work day, they will often stay later or work 'over time' to make up the time away from the office, which cuts into having dinner with the family and family time.

They will be distracted--messaging ap on vacation or talking on the way to work, etc..   Gas, hotel, little gifts, etc.  all is $ diverted from family.

BUT THE BIGGEST DEAL: they almost all get caught if they keep at it long enough and the amount of trauma to the spouse and kids and family is monumental, so much more than if a 'regular' divorce was initiated without the betrayal/lies/exposure to disease and third party (and often another family betrayed spouse).

Mental gymnastics is BIG with cheaters.  It's always 'benefitting the family', 'making them a better parent' blah, blah., blah.  That is pure selfishness and lack of self awareness.[/quote]

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