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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The Free Childcare and Free Housekeeper Poster from a few weeks ago was correct!  Don’t get divorced when you can well up the Family Guy, Great Home facade![/quote]

Another right on the money response.  It's not about kids, it's about their ease of living and financial well being.  Talking about kids makes it sound more palatable to both themselves and to others.  If they really cared about their kids, they wouldn't chance them finding out about cheating and potentially losing a good relationship with them and also potentially losing their respect.  All bs when they talk about kids:  it's about free childcare, free housekeeper, keeping the money for themselves, and let's not forget keeping up the facade.  [/quote]

I am the one you are responding to. This isn't complicated.

What I want is a loving wife with whom I have at least a decent sexual connection. I had that for years but it slowly faded 10 years ago and we have been sexless for 3 years. I have brought it up repeatedly but nothing changes.

So my decisions are to divorce, split time with my kids, divide finances which will limit my ability to pay for college and limit my ability to retire earlier. Some of those are "selfish" but an equal amount is what's best for my kids.

Since I can't have that, yes, I risk cheating rather than proceeding straight to divorce so I can at least be somewhat sane. I understand there is a risk that the kids find out and are upset. I will do my best to mitigate the fallout, just as I would mitigate the fallout if we divorced.

I don't expect you to understand unless you tell me you were put into a sexless marriage for years, tried to fix it but were frozen out by a husband who refused to work with you. I wish you well.[/quote]

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