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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents were legal immigrants here and we had absolutely nothing. I picked the college I wanted, the city I wanted, and when I got in, I went to that college. I worked, I borrowed money under my name, and got grants and scholarships and whatever I could scrape. I had a ton of loans but I’m paying them off.

Your daughter isn’t unhappy that DH isn’t paying for her, deep down she’s unhappy because by your actions and words you are forcing her to pick going to a college she doesn’t want to go. Young people don’t get the impact of loans, but they’re young, let them choose their path and you gave your advice. You should simply say pick the school you want, I’ll contribute what I can, ans the rest will be loans you’ll have to pay. Support her on her decision. Stop focusing on the step family and telling her to go to UMD. She wants a fun college a great name college a place she’s be proud and happy at. Give your advice about loans ans then let her go forth with that decision. [/quote]

Same here. It can be done. If she has the brains to get into a school like this, she will have the brains to pay off the loans. I had a job through college. Every summer I had two or three. I still graduated first in my class. Sleep is overrated.[/quote]
It is much harder to do this now.

Also the real point here is that OP doesn't see what her actions have done to hurt her dd and is blaming her dd for being unhappy and ungrateful. [/quote]

I’m the immigrant poster - nah it’s not that much harder I did this a few years ago, my parents did co sign I got gasp! Unsubsidized loans that I gasp! refinanced snd consolidated into subsidized loans. I also worked hard at my job and I had a gig at the Kennedy Center in the evenings doing catering aside from work study. Ans sleep is over rated when you’re poor or can’t afford something. I went to law school and doing public service loan forgiveness and have about 4/3 years left until this mess is forgiven until then I pay because I get how loans work. DD needs advice on her options and implications and she should be happy with any funds.

Now separately, OP is a crappy mother because she’s not listening to what her DD wants and facilitating that even if it’s telling her go sign up for loans.[/quote]

You also didn’t face the issue of your parents having such a high income you don’t qualify for most aid[/quote]

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