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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Look, the situation is what it is. She has 30k she can decide what to do with. The rest is up to her. That’s not going to change unless she gets a scholarship.

Mostly, I want to know what to say to her to get her to stop lashing out at her step siblings and my H. I’ve tried talking to her and get nowhere.[/quote]

I feel for you, OP. You have done well to provide for your daughter, you live comfortably with your new husband. Your daughter needs to get over this somehow. She can make the choice: graciously accept the $30K you provide, and then decide if she wants to put that towards a more affordable, good school like UMD, or beg/whine/take out loans to go somewhere more expensive/private/prestigious. Maybe she's not at a maturity level to actually make this decision yet. Can she take a gap year, work somewhere, save money, THINK a little before making this decision of where to go/what is worth it?

You sound like a great mom. You're doing great, mama :)

I think I got a total of $1,000 from my parents when I got off to college, and a decade later I still have $65,000 in student loans, but I did work-study, did what I had to do, and made it work.[b] Not many people even have a mother like you who's financially stable enough to provide such a chunk of money.[/b][/quote]

those people qualify for need based aid, heavily subsidized federal loans, and work study. OP's daughter will qualify for none of that and that 30k won't get her 2 years even a a cheap in state school. Instead, she'll get unsubsidized federal loans with interest accumulating from day one and even higher rate private loans. [/quote]

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