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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
But some people say something is a tradeoff... like I see my child less for money. But I don't see that as a tradeoff. I see that as a normal healthy relationship. I don't think it is all that healthy for a child to only have their mother as a caregiver. I am not trading one thing for the other. I think it is healthier for a child to be with people other than me sometimes. I think it is healthier for my children to have an involved father. I think it is healthier for children to grow up and realize they are not the center of the universe and that sometime mom is more important to dad and dad is more important to mom right now so you have a babysitter.

It's not necessarily a trade off but a lifestyle that I believe in, that I planned and executed.  [/quote]
But nothing, literally nothing on your list is necessarily mutually exclusive with a SAHP.  Not every husband with a homemaker wife works crazy hours or isn't involved wit his children.  Children don't have to grow up feeling like a center of the universe if their mother stays home. It's not like men with SAHMs never go out to dinner with their wives. It's not like an educated, intelligent SAHM would keep her child locked up in a room where he can only see her. They go out, do things, travel, see stuff.  What makes you think exposure to diversity of experiences and people and other kids is only possible in a daycare or preschool setting?  You are setting up a false dichotomy where there isn't one. [/quote]

It's not SAHM vs WOHM... I chose my lifestyle because I like it and I don't think I gave anything up. I think it is the best way to raise a child. I am sure Some SAHA thing their way is the best. Some people like being doctor others like being lawyers (psyche nobody actually likes being a lawyer).

Going out and seeing a person at the store is not the same to me as having a relationship with an aupair. Being sick of my child by 3 pm and watching the clock until my H gets home is not my preference for how I want to live my life.

It was a choice not one that was thrst upon me. I think being in a school setting starting at 3 is a positive. I think having an aupair that was available to babysit for datenight every other weekend was a plus. I didn't feel being home was a plus because my H was there in the morning, then my child slept, then the aupair had him for 3 hours then he slept, then I was home. Seemed like a waste to throw a career away for 3 hours a day. I had 3-9 ... 6 hours a day. I don't feel like there was any trade off, it was all positive.

Once the kids were in preschool, H did morning drop off 3 days, I worked at home 2 days... So I could do the drop off, aupair did lunch (1 hour), nap(2hours)... Moms home. So I missed lunch... And a 2 hour nap, big deal.

I volunteered, did field trips, dad did field trips... Not missing much.

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