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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it."
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[quote=Anonymous]My DH and I argued about this a far amount when we were engaged. He was fine with me keeping my name but unwilling to consider changing his. I would have preferred to have the same name but wasn’t willing to be the one to change just because of a sexiest tradition. In the end we just kept our own names. The kids do have his last name but in exchange for him unilaterally choosing their last name I insisted on having final say over their first names. I also didn’t pick names he didn’t like and he had reasonable amount of input. It worked out fine. Now I think I wouldn’t care as much, but now I know how our lives have played out and that he is truly an equal partner in all things who considers me an equal partner in all things and not pressuring me into gendered bs. At 27, the name thing was an important symbol related to equality and gendered assumptions and expectations for our future. [/quote]
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