Reply to Should grandma go to birthday party or visit with newborn?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it is VERY telling that you have said not one word of excitement or care about your new niece or nephew. That precious baby is not guilty of doing or saying anything to hurt or manipulate you. [/quote]

That’s a good point. She is just focused on the attention being taken away from her child on her child’s birthday- which sounds objectively childish and self centered. I don’t doubt that her sister is an attention seeker, but in this objective situation (even though OP clearly
Couldn’t tell the story objectively, it was obvious from the first post which sister she was and which sister she disliked), it’s a no brainer that the grandma should
Visit the newborn in the hospital. [/quote]
No
She can go the next day. [/quote]

And she can also visit the toddler the next day. The toddler will love a second birthday “celebration”. The newborn won’t be in the hospital the next day. [/quote]

Why does the visit have to be at the hospital?[/quote]

Is this an earnest question? If it is- [b]visiting the new mom and baby at the hospital is often a big event, sort of a rite of passage.[/b] It would be uncommon for a grandparent to skip it for a birthday party. So uncommon, that if someone heard “oh her mom was going to come.l visit her and baby in the hospital but she’d already made plans”, it would immediately be assumed the grandma was aloof and uncaring .[/quote]

It's really not a rite of passage though. And it would not be uncommon for a grandparent to come a day later in order to attend a gathering in honor of another grandkid she already committed to. [/quote]

But if the new mom called her mom and asked her to come- after giving birth a month early!- it would in fact be unusual for the grandma to say no. For any reason. Neither daughter comes across as particularly pleasant IMO but the [b]bottom line is, the birth of a new baby trumps a toddler birthday party under normal, non-dysfunctional circumstanc[/b]es.[/quote]

Not true [/quote]

I am really surprised to see one or more people really thinking that if they were in the hospital, gave birth 3-4 weeks early, called their mom and said “please come visit us in the hospital tomorrow morning I just had the baby early!”…. that they’d be totally fine with their mom saying “oh well your sisters kid has his 3rd birthday celebration tomorrow and I did RSVP already so how about I skip the after birth visit and just see you once you get home the day after?” Because if that were me- in the hormonal , vulnerable state after having a baby- I’d have been crushed that my mother declined to come when I asked. Because of a toddler birthday party. On the other hand if I were the birthday mom and learned my sister had a baby, I would assume my mom (grandma) wouldn’t come to my party anymore and if she did, I’d be flabbergasted. It’s a toddler cake celebration! We can do another in a few days, which would thrill him anyways! [/quote]

100%[/quote]

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