Reply to Should grandma go to birthday party or visit with newborn?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Should grandma go to birthday party or visit with newborn?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Want to run this by the forum to see what you all think of this scenario. Imagine that you are a grandparent planning to visit one of your grandkids for a birthday - the visit was planned in advance, parents have made some preparations for this visit, it's on the child's actual birthday and there's a party/gathering with just the grandkids, their parents, and the grandparent. Small enough that your absence will be noticed by your kid and their spouse, but the birthday kid is young enough that they may not notice.

Your other child gives birth unexpectedly a couple weeks early and asks you to come visit - this falls on the day of the birthday party. You have been somewhat on bad terms with this child for a few months, but not "estranged" per se, just an argument. You wish to reconcile. 
Do you go and visit the newborn, stick with birthday plans, or something else? Would be very difficult but not impossible to do both in one day - probably would be 6 hours of driving.

How do you communicate this with whichever child you're not going to see that day?
Both of the grandchildren are young enough that they won't care or remember, but it's more about your relationship with your two kids. 
Flipping the scenario, would either child have the right to be put out if the grandparent can't visit, or is it reasonable to chalk it up to awkward timing and everyone lets it go?

How would past patterns of behavior from the grandparent affect your reacting in either child's position (i.e. cancelling past visits on holidays/important days due to circumstance not entirely within the grandparent's control)?

Sorry to be ambiguous to my role in this scenario, I want a completely unbiased reaction - I've tried to be objective. [/quote]

Grandma goes to birthday party because grandchild is looking forward to her visit and newborn doesn't know sunshine from shinola.  Also, semi-estranged daughter most likely just wants grandma for free maid service.[/quote]

OP said in follow up that birthday child is too young to know if grandma is there or not. And sister is asking grandma to visit her in the hospital before she is discharged. Read the thread first. [/quote]

All 29 pages, lol.  For something that is likely over and done by now....[/quote]

Yes it is. Grandma went to visit the daughter who just gave birth since there was no way to do both, any OPs nose is out of joint about it. But she’s also gotten her nose out of joint about the fact that her sister sent out newborn photos to the family and that people responded positively, because OP thinks they should ignore her because her sister had been rude to family the last few months. So, totally normal family![/quote]

People like OP, who call themselves "laid back," but are the first to complain about every little thing that rubs them the wrong way, are the worse. OP: you are not laid back. You have been the recipient of favored treatment by your mother for probably no good reason your entire life. You can try to put that on your sister, your mother, whoever--but when you act like this, you have to acknowledge that you are part of the problem. Our family dynamic was just like this. My older sister--who was the middle child-was the favorite, and it was because she was the most "popular" and wasn't short like the rest of us. Two things that mattered the most to my parents. She was dumb as a brick--but took full advantage of her favored status her whole life--until she dropped dead out of nowhere at the age of 52. OP: life is short. Take a good long look at the negative role you're playing in the life of your younger sister.[/quote]

Yeah OP sounds like the golden child but in denial of all the favoritism she's gotten in her life.  Let your sister have your mom for one day, good grief.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics