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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I read all the comments and no one has mentioned how Noah's parents are supposedly former Soviet Jews, yet seem more like L.A. Persians or Armenians. We don't call "banya" the shvitz (that's a Yiddish term used by Eastern Europeans), moms aren't as overbearing as Middle Eastern/Far Eastern Jewish (or otherwise) moms, and the accents are way wrong. Former Soviets don't tend to go into real estate, don't tend to be religious, etc. If you're going to stereotype, do it right, the parents should have been scientists or computer programmers. :) [/quote]

Yes this bugged me too because there was no reason for it. Obviously their financial situation and the personality of the mom was important to the plot so why not have a backstory that made this make sense? It's incongruous the way it's written.

Also incongruous is the family actually doesn't come off as particularly religious so I had a hard time understanding why Noah became a rabbi. You don't get the sense his parents pressured him into it and his brother obviously doesn't care. So you'd think it had to do with Noah's own faith and interest. But then he's kind of blithely dating a you knowing it's problematic and seems generally annoyed by the realities if his job. When the board member sees him in the sex shop he only cares about his own career and is happy when it turns out the guy is cheating on his wife. It's just weird.[/quote]

My take is Noah is a bad person and it would be great if he didn't stay a rabbi. He comes across as this sweet and cute caring guy, but it is all superficial: He misleads Rebecca, a woman of substance who actually IS a good person and wants to be a rabbi's wife (which is a very specific job in itself, not many are up for it!), dumps her after being such a coward she had to push the issue to finally get an answer. Then he falls for a total airhead actual BAD person. He says lashon hara is wrong but actually engages in gossip right away the minute he meets her friends. There is the gross incident you mention about the board member cheating and covert blackmail. He plays basketball on Shabbat, lights candles after sundown, is totally fine flaunting a brand new relationship at a religious camp, it takes him 10 minutes to throw away his career because the idiot he somehow loves says she probably can't convert...None of it aligned with him being a good person or a good rabbi at ALL. [/quote]

Oh brother. Have you been dumped after a long relationship. I would have dumped someone who tried to force me into a proposal too. He didn’t owe her that just because she is a good person and up for a job. Also, if the two characters, Rebecca is the one who lies to get Noah back and continues to disrespect his boundaries. Joann is prettt consistently honest about everything.

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I know several rabbis and their wives. It is not a normal relationship. It's a marriage but it's also very much a business partnership and a personal sacrifice for the woman if they are not absolutely into the job itself. You are on 100% of the time, constantly entertaining, helping. The rabbi's wife has a crucial role. He did owe her not wasting years in her 30s leading her on. Had she not done the ring thing, he would have kept misleading her so it's a good thing she did. Joanne is a shitty person and yes, she is honest about being shitty. Rebecca is more mature and realizes the scope of being Rabbi Noah's wife. Her mistake is thinking Noah is a good person and a good rabbi who wants to stay a rabbi, so everything devolves from that.[/quote]

1) how do you know he would have kept misleading her? He bought the right and by all accounts was planning on giving it to her at some point. As far as I could tell he had an a-ha moment when she forced the issue and said there is essentially nothing special about a relationship, that this was it. He wanted passion and love and not just a transaction. Her lying and manipulation does not make her a good person in my book. Other than being Jewish, of course.

2) Why is Joanne a shitty person? Give me some examples. She has a raunchy podcast, sure. But she is an awesome sister, close with her family, has a ton of really good friends. She is pretty honest and doesn't try to manipulate anyone. [/quote]

+1. Rebecca didn't just spring the engagement on him. She broke into his locked cabinet to find the ring. She started planning the wedding with his mom before he even knew he was "engaged." Rebecca has no boundaries.

That said, I get that being a rabbi's wife is a full-time job, and anybody in a relationship with a rabbi needs to understand that, which Joanne does not. The same is true of a relationship with any religious leader, and it's why I'm religious but didn't see my future in dating an episcopalian priest. [/quote]

I think he did treat Rebecca very poorly and took her for granted. She did seem like a good match. I think it's good she knew what she wanted and wasn't neurotically sitting around hoping for it, but plowed ahead. And yeah, if he was going to dump her for that then better to get it over with - but the guy is in his 40s, right? If he's still hemming and hawing about settling down, and falling for the rush of s** with someone who can't mesh with his real life, I think he needs therapy and a cold hard look about whether he's living the life he actually wants to live. Maybe he doesn't want to be a rabbi - maybe that's what all of this is telling him. But I have to say, I'm team Rebecca.[/quote]

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