Reply to Vent about marrying someone from a very underdeveloped country

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I like how the OP is conveniently avoiding talking about her sockpuppeting. She has no credibility, and to be perfectly honest, comes off as incredibly stupid, and posting to simply create more waves (she couldn’t tell DH’s twin sisters apart? Couldn’t tell that the maid was not a member of the family? WTF?).[/quote]

Op here.[b] I had to look up sockpuppet because I am unfamiliar with what that means in online forums. I may not have included I am the OP sometimes when I answer questions, but I haven't been saying I am Indian or Bangladeshi or identifying myself as a completely different person.[/b] I have two young kids and have been posting while being very distracted. I don't post or read this forum often. I found it five or so years ago when we were looking for a PT nanny. I came back for advice before this trip. There aren't as many Bangladeshi communities in the US as Indians, so it's hard to get basic details. Most of DH's family doesn't speak English, and none of his family lives in the US.  I have been shocked and saddened by how condescending and disrespectful people are on this forum.

For people who are supposed to be highly educated, I am surprised they can't come up with an informed, intelligent, and sensible response. This is one of the things I love about Bangladesh. People do not seem mean-spirited at all. It doesn't make them feel good to put others down. They aren't spending their time looking for trouble online or obsessively looking at Facebook selfies of themselves. I think I will join them and live my life offline as much as possible because people say and do strange things when no one is around. Bangladesh may be underdeveloped in many ways, but they seem to have the happiness thing down, and I think it's because they understand a very fundamental thing, i.e., not to put others down. Isn't that all what we are seeking anyway? This is a huge difference my husband has tried to make me understand. According to him, Bangladeshi people are more humble and simple, and I don't think they sit around gossiping about others, putting people down. I see that with my sisters-in-law. It's not in their culture to do that. They try to think the best about others.

And for the people interested in Aarong, please know they ship to the US, and shipping is free if you spend more than $120. They have some really neat t-shirts and sweaters for kids, and the quality is really good!! They have spunky looks and also lots of polos that are preppy. You could have an entire wardrobe for your kids, probably minus maybe jeans and shorts for less than $100. Their collared shirts are also really fun... I love the prints for boys!! I don't have girls, but I am sure their clothing is also nice. I am referring to Western clothes for kids, but the website has both. 
[/quote]

Oh come on now! You got called out by Jeff for sockpuppeting!

"However, this morning I noticed that the original poster has done quite a bit of sock puppeting, mostly offering what appears to be third-person defenses of herself. The thread is full of repeated patterns in which the original poster complained about something, posters offered advice for improving whatever that is, the original poster then explains why the advice won't work, other posters criticize her, the original poster sock puppets a supportive message, and then the original poster again explains why the advice won't work." ...

"Given the frequency with which the original poster has been posting — over 60 posts in 24 hours — it is clear that while the home in which she is staying may not have running warm water, heat, or a modern kitchen, it has a good Internet connection."

You have posted over 60 times in a 24 hour period! Often pretending to be someone supportive of your whining. And you had to look up sockpuppeting, huh?[/quote]

I am NOT  OP but it makes sense if she’s bored out of her mind and can’t speak the language why she’s posting 60x a day here and even apparently befriending herself via third person posts. Isolation will do that to people

She will have to explain that very strong Wi-Fi or 5G connection though. Are they heating the water because of pathogens or because there’s no electricity/ water heater for hot water?

No doubt the family hates her probably because she is isolating herself and typing on her phone or laptop all day . I bet the younger kids  do speak English. Kids all around the world learn English in primary school these days.  They just don’t want to talk to her. They would definitely welcome her and show  her American food spots to make her comfortable if they liked her . They also Pocket watch  her husband heavily  and certainly guilt him for over spending on his spoiled, cold, and rude American wife. They think she’s an ice queen for not smiling or having tea or hanging with them or even trying to learn one or two phrases in their language just as a kind gesture /greeting. There’s a way you have to be in intercultural relationships . Transactional is the word. The family and her don’t have that  bond. They won’t make her comfortable by speaking some English or showing her American esque spots because she doesn’t make them comfortable .

Husband doesn’t want to upset his wife  so he doesn’t tell her the family doesn’t like her . Hopefully, they aren’t arranging him to marry another local wife . I’ve seen it happen before [/quote]

Op here. You know absolutely nothing about the family dynamic. It's as if you're accusing me of lying. Your situation in India doesn't equal mine. Very few people in his family speak English. There isn't some kind of conspiracy against me. Even though my sister in law barely speaks English I feel close to her. We do video chat when we are in the US. On the last trip, she was crying as I was leaving because she said she would miss me.  My husband's family isn't sitting around drinking tea or doing other stuff while there are a ton of servants. Their lifestyle seems modest. Right now dh took the kids out to ride rickshaws and visit their family garden. I think they own several small garden farms and they check on them every day. They sell vegetables at the market or someone else buys them wholesale from them. I am very bored here but I am not miserable or anything. There's just not much to do. Right now only thing I could be doing is being outside with sister in law watching her cook. I also have to work PT from home while I am here. The internet is fast but at night for about an hour the government shuts off the electricity to save energy and they don't officially announce when that will happen. I have a few Zoom meetings coming up next week so I am hoping the internet will be okay. [/quote]

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