Reply to Wife refusing to pitch in with help with aging mother

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Wife refusing to pitch in with help with aging mother "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
OP, I saw your update and I’m glad your wife was able to help your dad find a solution.

I do think it’s telling that your dad had vacation time that he could use as well FMLA and you were hung up on forcing your wife to accept the most unreasonable solution of all. Your title says your wife doesn’t want to pitch in, but you neglected to mention she was willing to go help on weekends. She was just unwilling to make a daily 2hour drive after work, when you have young kids at home. That’s completely reasonable.

I think you need to be very aware that when it comes to your family, you are not objective. You were willing to throw your wife under the bus and assign the worst motives to her objections. Be very careful going forward. Your wife is on your side but you’re going to destroy your relationship if you keep doubting her and painting her as the villain. Maybe she won’t divorce you right away, but your marriage will be over. 
  [/quote]

I agree.  OP's plan was completely unsustainable, which many people pointed out.  And his dad had vacation time and FMLA?  And no one had through to look into Medicaid or other benefits?

In the meantime, the wife WAS willing to "pitch in," just not by requiring her kids to spend 11+ hours a day with the nanny and spending $10K/year extra so OP could spend 30 minutes with his mom a few times a week, which was clearly inadequate to the situation.  OP framed it entirely in terms of his wife's resentment, when she might just have been practical.  And was completely willing to accept his sister's choice, but was upset about his wife's perfectly justifiable objections.  This is a terrible dynamic.  She wasn't "refusing to pitch in," she just didn't want to do it this one way.

[b]And so many people jumped on the wife as some kind of heartless money-grubbing villain, [/b]when apparently his wife is pretty level-headed and he and his dad and his sister were just being short-sighted and not considering all the options.  [/quote]

Nope. Just one troll who started this thread and is playing both parts.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics