Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] REPOSTED for easier reading:
So I'm the pp you were responding to.

Just because you are asking seriously, I'm writing this response. I don't think you get it at all. I've said that I somewhat get your situation but definitely don't have your mindset about actions.

So, you're selfish for cheating and then for not telling her. You make all the decisions for you (cheating) and her (not telling her). It's all about doing what's right for you. You married someone else for a reason and out of respect for that relationship, be fair to her. Now that you've cheated, tell her so that she can make her own decision on next steps. If she is as happy as you say she is with her current situation, she may not divorce you (physically but who knows about emotionally) but she may also decide it's unacceptable to her. She doesn't have options right now. You've take that away from her. That's sort of misogynistic according to me.[/quote]
This is a totally disingenuous self serving response. HIS WIFE ALREADY KNOWS ALL THAT SHE WANTS TO KNOW.  She knows he needs sex and she knows she isn't interested. If she cared to find out where he is meeting his normal sexual needs, she would find out more. She has never asked, [u]because she does not want to know more[/u]. And she has chosen to stay. That is her choice, he has taken nothing away from her.

[quote=Anonymous] BTW, I did not know that men's reaction to any problem in their marriage (whether it's sexlessness or something else) is to cheat in some way (physically/financially depending on problem). So, I don't assume that men will cheat if there's no sex/low levels of sex/not exciting sex. I have had high respect for men and their ability to lead, not hide. My spouse is my partner, not my enemy and so I try to consider my spouse in actions/feelings and vice versa. Neither of us are perfect and know that we have had ups/downs and we have not always been nice to each other but respect for each other is important.[/quote]
Not sure how you extrapolated a sexless marriage to include men's reaction to financial problems? Leaving that alone... Clearly you (and all women) know that normal men need regular and frequent sex. Right? This is the worst kept secret in the history of humanity. So, based on that universal knowledge: what EXACTLY do you think men who are in a sexless marriage do about their sexual needs? I await your specific answer.

[quote=Anonymous]The fact that you thought that you think that your presumptive daughter being cheated on is OK if her husband were in the same situation is sickening to me on one hand and can't believe your mind contortions that get you to say that I would still support her. Do you see how you could be considered to be a hypocrite? Your daughter might think that as well and might not look to you for support (and may lose any respect for you at this point). Since you don't have a daughter, I guess it's OK if your sons behave like you because it doesn't actively hurt you/your offsprings./s[/quote]
You are the one who disrespects his presumptive daughter. His position is reasonable, that his daughter (because she has a brain... like his wife) ... decides to stay married despite the fact she's uninterested in sex ... which most certainly mean's he is getting it elsewhere. [b]You on the other hand treat his presumptive daughter like a total idiot who either doesn't know that [u]men and women[/u] need sex (really?!?) or thinks that men can somehow go without meeting that need.[/quote][/b]

It never ceases to amaze me just how clueless some of the women on this board appear to be by their comments.  Do all the clueless ones end up here somehow? Because the women I know in real life are just not this dumb about men, or marital problems, or what happens in a sexless marriage.  There are always just a few who post and say they get it.[/quote]

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