Reply to I told DW it’s time for her to return to work FT

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She can go back to work full time but Op has to promise to take on the role of the default parent while his wife establishes herself in her career. That might take a year or more.

Do you understand what it means to be the default parent, Op?

It means being the parent who stays at home when the kids are sick or off of school for a holiday or snow day.  It means being the parent who takes the kids to doctor and dental appointments.  It means being the parent who goes to teacher conferences and volunteers to chaperone field trips.  It also means being on duty while your wife goes away for a week or more at a time on business trips - sometimes to really fun locations (Vegas, Orlando, San Diego, Boston, NYC) - while your stuck at home working FT, getting kids to/from school, doing laundry, helping with homework, making dinner....

Do that for a year and then come back to tell us how it went.  Good luck!

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No snow days this year. Sick days happen but at their dc s ages should be more than manageable.
Doctor and Dental appointments are 3x a year if use 2 cleanings and one yearly physical. Can be scheduled at 8 am or 4pm so should fit even with a new work schedule.

No teacher conferences in HS. They do back to school night at 6 or 7pm one of first weeks of school. On veterans day there ( I think) there are tables in the gym if you really need to speak with a teacher. No field trips but maybe a chance to chaperone an evening dance or spring break trip to France but most kids don’t do that.

If she’s a speech therapist probably little travel.

Lunches, laundry can be done by DC before or after school or by parent either end as well. Both parents often help with homework even if one SAH and one WOH depending on their strengths.

Really just trying to highlight to OP to discuss with his DW who may also be thinking like this that none of these items on your list Are insurmountable. Do they require planning, organization, willingness to help, a spirit of cooperation, and a bit of juggling and compromise? Of course but that is life.

Most of us face the tasks on this list daily. Not all days are perfect but it truly is not as daunting or career- sacrificing as you would suggest.

Just another opinion from someone who has been on both sides and went back full time when my youngest was in 5 th grade. However, I wanted to and absolutely love what I do.
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