Reply to WWYD? Struggling to help my devastated teen DD whose friends/teammates pranked her.

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Reply to "WWYD? Struggling to help my devastated teen DD whose friends/teammates pranked her."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, sounds like you've made the decision about what to do or not do, but for you and others out there, don't stop with the coach. If it's high school, go to the athletic director.
Coaches often are teachers with more narrow views of how to deal with teens. Some are great; some aren't. The athletic director is the coach's boss, first of all, and also, he/she has a high-altitude understanding of what good coaching and leadership look like, what bullying and hazing look like, and how to handle all those things. The AD will have perspective -- and can make a good decision about whether the girls who did this deserve to play any sport at that school.[/quote]

This depends greatly on the athletic director.  If there is a problem with a coach concerning a team issue then the athletic director is step one. This is not a coach problem.  This is a bullying issue.  If the kids were on a varsity team I would start and likely end with the coach. They are not.  If the coach is an experienced teacher at the school (and not anyone else lower on the totem pole) then you could start with the JV coach.  Lots of JV coaches are not an experienced teacher though.  So, the place to go would be the discipline person for the school.

I would say that all of my kids played high school sports. One played 4 years in college. I have seen and heard about lots of typical teen stuff on teams - parties, drinking, getting with someone else’s significant other, and fights over stupid stuff.  This is pretty darn stupid. For the kid who was excluded it obviously is a big deal with much to be sorted out. For the kids who went along and said nothing - it is a school punishable offense but more important would be some time spent analyzing why they went along.  For the kids who planned it - again a bigger deal and they and their parents all need to consider why they thought it would be fun and okay.  Parents of the leaders need to be involved as there are discipline ramifications that could and should apply.  Example:  no school sports until a paper is written and another meeting, with parents, is held.

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