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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband and I both work, he's doing more of the chores and childcare right now because I'm 8 months pregnant with our second and I've reached the uncomfortable and always tired stage.  With our first I handled the vast majority of night wake ups because I chose to breastfeed.

I of course handled all the house stuff when his mom got sick and he was with her for her surgeries and chemo.

[b]It's not a constant bean counting thing, you have to be a team.[/b][/quote]

+1000

Your point also goes to the OP, which is that you need to be with someone who agrees to work with you on life. Guaranteed you'll be thrown a curveball or two, so the point to OP is that you need to find someone who understands your feelings on something but is also flexible enough to handle changes to that. I would never marry someone who said they would never let their wife work or they would definitely want a SAHM. Too many things could happen that could change that scenario, and being married to someone who has one rigid idea of how things go is a recipe for disaster. [/quote]

I'm a woman who'd never be a SAHM, because my mom was and I experienced what happens as a kid when your Dad gets diagnosed with brain cancer and all of a sudden your SAHM has to scramble to figure out working so you don't lose the house.  My sister was just a baby when this happened. My grandmother helped us out to the extent she could. Dad ended up okay but it could have gone differently.

Life really does throw curveballs, you can't plan for everything but I at least can make sure I'm not in that position.[/quote]
Insurance policies can cover dire situations. Sah, for my family, was worth the risk of the types of disaster scenarios pps have brought out. Being with my young children every day and being there before and after school and to care for them when they were sick means more to me and dh than any amount of money. This isn't a knock on anyone else's choices. We both felt having an at home parent was our top priority and the best way to ensure our children grew up in the home and family we desired for them. That is what we valued the most. It went well and the kids are great.[/quote]

Insurance only goes so far, unfortunately.  I remember a horrible moment where my Dad pointed out that we had Insurance for if he died but the insurance didn't remotely cover the cost of "Dad's brain isn't working".

The pressure on my Dad and the horrible feeling of failure he had when he couldn't fill that role through no fault of his own.  I never want anyone I love to feel like that.[/quote]
That sounds traumatic for the whole family. Fortunately, brain cancer is rare and my family made it through my being home without any major financial distress. My father also had a life altering medical emergency and condition starting when I was 11. I was traumatized by that, for sure. It is also part of the reason I wanted to spend every day with my young kids. I would do it again.[/quote]

DP. My husband is obsessed with financial security and insurance. We are all set with retirement and college for our three kids.

I do know women whose parents divorced and they often say a man is not the plan. Every family and situation is different. [/quote]

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