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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband and I both work, he's doing more of the chores and childcare right now because I'm 8 months pregnant with our second and I've reached the uncomfortable and always tired stage.  With our first I handled the vast majority of night wake ups because I chose to breastfeed.

I of course handled all the house stuff when his mom got sick and he was with her for her surgeries and chemo.

[b]It's not a constant bean counting thing, you have to be a team.[/b][/quote]

+1000

Your point also goes to the OP, which is that you need to be with someone who agrees to work with you on life. Guaranteed you'll be thrown a curveball or two, so the point to OP is that you need to find someone who understands your feelings on something but is also flexible enough to handle changes to that. I would never marry someone who said they would never let their wife work or they would definitely want a SAHM. Too many things could happen that could change that scenario, and being married to someone who has one rigid idea of how things go is a recipe for disaster. [/quote]

I'm a woman who'd never be a SAHM, because my mom was and I experienced what happens as a kid when your Dad gets diagnosed with brain cancer and all of a sudden your SAHM has to scramble to figure out working so you don't lose the house.  My sister was just a baby when this happened. My grandmother helped us out to the extent she could. Dad ended up okay but it could have gone differently.

Life really does throw curveballs, you can't plan for everything but I at least can make sure I'm not in that position.[/quote]

Ha!  I became a SAHM (or worked very part time anyway) for kind of a similar reason.  My cousin died when her kids were in elementary school, and they had this whole community of people that stepped up and made sure that they didn’t fall behind at school and still got to their extracurriculars and everything.  I was working at the time and felt like I didn’t know anyone who also knew my kids and family.  There just wasn’t enough time to devote to those relationships.  I took a few years and built up our network of friends and family that were involved in our lives and involved with our kids.

[/quote]

Are you saying others should raise your kids when you are not able to provide for them in case of your husband's death? This is the crazier s..t I've ever read on this forum[/quote]

No…I’m saying that if I die, my bereaved husband and children will have a community of people around to love and support them.

I never questioned whether or not I could handle everything if my husband died!  [/quote]

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