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[quote=Anonymous]I have two stepsons in college who spend all day in their rooms on screens, have never had jobs, have had zero to one extra curric, no chores, have never dated, struggle to pass their classes despite being smart because they are playing video games rather than doing assignments, etc. I don't think they are right wing. But they are failure to launch (Are living at home in college because they like it better than the dorms).

Their mom is MIA. I've known them since junior high but their dad did not give me say in their upbringing. Their dad let them be on screens as much as they wanted. He did not make them get jobs, did not give them any chores, did not make sure they got outside for fresh air and exercise every day.

They literally spent all day, every day this summer in their rooms on screens. Letting dishes pile up in sink. No jobs. No chores. Did not see friends in person, only online.

If I were their parent, I would have changed the wifi password and taken away their devices until they got jobs.

So my advice is:
-Limit screen time
-Require at least one sport or activity per season
-Send them to summer camp that does not have screens
-Make them do their homework and turn assignments in on time. Have consewuences if they don't (ie dont allow video game playing six hours a day after school - well, dont allow that at all - but particularly not if they don't turn in their homework etc)
-Make them get summer jobs once they hit sixteen or seventeen.
-Give them chores from a young age.

My just out of college daughter says sadly that they are "losers" and that she would not recommend any girl date them. She had friends she saw in person, summer jobs, activities, turned in her homework etc. I didn't just let her sit around on screens all the time.

I think the "crisis" with boys is that many parents have very low expectations of tehir sons' contrubtiuons to their households and classrooms and society and enjoy using screens as babysitters.[/quote]

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