Reply to How do you stay married to an ASD HFA Aspergers husband?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I love my husband, but I am so lonely in our marriage. 
Recently, we found out that he has ASD, which explains pretty much everything that's been wrong with our 25-year marriage.
I want to stay married, but I don't know if I can spend the rest of my life with this man who is unable to connect emotionally with me. 
He's somewhat controlling, and he does gaslight me if I don't call him on it. But he doesn't have rages, and he accepts that he has ASD-1/HFA/Aspergers, whatever you want to call it. He's fairly successful at his job, but he is a workaholic. Work is his only interest. He has no hobbies and almost no friends. He gloms onto my friends. 
I feel so lonely and neglected, like a piece of furniture that he sits on when it's convenient for him. 
My question: Does anyone have a happy, fulfilling marriage to an ASD/HFA/Aspergers husband? 
If so, how? How do you make your marriage work? [/quote]

You are under Ongoing trauma.

So you Accept that they won’t change, you Be yourself, you Change some systems around so you rely on others not them, and you Detach for normal expectations of them.

Then you get stronger and decide when to leave or continue to let them tag along, as long as they are not abusive or too taxing. [/quote]

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