Reply to How do you stay married to an ASD HFA Aspergers husband?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve found these responses so helpful. It makes me think my spouse may be on the spectrum. It would explain so much in our marriage. It’s very lonely, and I’ve had to set my expectations very low and get my emotional support outside the marriage. There’s no physical affection from my partner and never really has been, other than intimacy early on that I initiated. There’s almost no normal back and forth conversation. I talk and he listens. Then nothing. He will literally sit and watch tv or eat dinner silently with people or sit on his phone for hours. He’s very good at his job. But he has no outside interests. Very few friends - only a coworker or two. I stay for the stability while the kids are young. But it’s so lonely.[/quote]

+1. This is very similar to my situation. I have just recently put the pieces together and feel saddened and relieved at the same time. I’m not sure how to bring it up with DH either. I envision him getting very defensive and shutting down per usual when I bring up challenging topics. Any advice on how pp’s who suspected their partners had ASD brought it up to them?[/quote]

Just don't. Change your own ways. It won't work out and is not worth the hassle.[/quote]

The part that gets me is the masking, and the "putting on a show" for outsiders. That just saddens and angers me, because outsiders don't see what I (and other NT spouses) have to deal with, behind closed doors. It is exhausting. [/quote]

Agree. It’s insulting. 
The short-term energy and “show” outsiders get and then the kids and I get the neglectful, silent or raging shell of a spouse /parent inside the home. Or car. [/quote]

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