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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Regarding floors, I will note here that when our floors go unswept or vacuumed for a few days, [b]our kids will complain.[/b] They run around the house barefoot and do not enjoy stepping on crumbs, dirt, and tracked cat litter. Nor do I.

The PP (with a cat!) who claims they sweep twice a month and it's fine must have the tidiest family in the world. We don't wear shoes in the house and restrict eating to the kitchen and dining room and we still wind up with stuff on the floors after a few days. I think once a week is bare minimum and that's not to maintain perfect cleanliness or anything, just to ensure we don't attract bugs or ruin the floors.[/quote]

The day one of my kids complains about the floors being swept is that day is the day they get a new chore. I wonder if you'd feel less harried if you were in charge of your kids and not the other way around?[/quote]

I'm happy to have my 5 yr old sweep the floor but also that is not a good way to get floors clean. And they are too small for the vacuum.[/quote]

You're missing the larger point which that your kids need to learn not to complain to you. If I'd told my mom to sweep, she would even have been able to spank me she'd be laughing so hard.[/quote]

Did you miss the part where I pointed out I don't like the dirty floors either? This is so circular. If someone says "my husband never cleans the floors, even when they are disgusting," your response is that their standards for clean floors are too high and no one cares that much. If someone else says "actually my kids really hate it when the floors are covered in dirt and it attracts ants and other issues," then the argument is that the kids should clean the floors. If someone points out that not all kids are old enough to clean floors, well then we're back to having expectations of cleanliness that are too high.

Look if you want to live in a freaking pig pen with cat litter and cracker crumbs and bits of dried mud and pet hair on the floor all the time, be my guest. Most people do not, and that's not some OCD standard, it's a normal attitude about cleanliness and hygiene. Given that keeping floors reasonably clean (not spotless, just not covered in detritus at all times) is generally going to require sweeping/vacuuming once or twice a week, then having a husband who refuses to ever sweep or vacuum actually absolutely creates a ton of labor for the wife in that marriage, labor he and the children benefit from. It is unequal.

I look forward to Roomba PP coming back to explain that the problem is not a DH who refuses to pull his weight, but actually a wife who is too cheap to buy a robot to do her husband's basic cleaning for him, like a smart woman would.

[/quote]

Happy to help!

The main problem is once again your refusal to accept that your opinion is not a universal truth.  If your husband doesn’t feel compelled to sweep or vacuum and is not actually demanding that YOU sweep or vacuum, then it means that the state of the floors has not actually crossed HIS “disgusting” threshold, regardless of how YOU feel about it.  If HE was disgusted by the floors he would deal with the floors (or actively request or order you to deal with them which is an entirely separate problem not discussed thus far in this thread).

A secondary problem is that you contradict yourself.  First the roomba is no good as a compromise solution because it doesn’t do a good enough job, but now you’re claiming you don’t actually require spotless floors, just floors reasonably free of detritus.  I have two roombas and they keep the floors in a general state of “eh, they’re fine” in between more active vacuuming which happens 1) whenever I feel like vacuuming, or 2) when I think “eww these floors are gross!  I need to vacuum them immediately!”

And I agree that someone like you and someone like me would not get along as roommates, but once again, that doesn’t mean you’re right/good/hardworking and I am wrong/bad/lazy, it simply means we have, once again, different standards.[/quote]

You sound like an AWFUL partner (much less roommate).

If you are married, you cannot think about stuff as needing "cross your threshold" for mattering, and if it doesn't, you get to not care about it at all. This is a great recipe for divorce.

Here is a bunch of stuff I don't really care about but I do or make a priority because it is very important to my spouse: having a dog, prioritizing food experiences on vacation, living in the specific neighborhood where we live, planning around a sport for part of the year because it's important to my spouse, visiting or spending literally any time with his brother (who I honestly just dislike), Thanksgiving (his favorite holiday), I could go on. I don't merely tolerate the fact that these things matter to him. I actively participate in them, at least to some degree, because I love him an dit matters to him.

If it is important to your spouse that the floors be free of detritus most of the time, you have options. You can help keep it clean, you can be more careful about getting it dirty, you can say "hey let's buy a Roomba -- $350 is worth you not hating to walk across the floors in our home!" Or suggest hiring a housecleaner. Whatever. But no, you do not get to say "I'm sorry, clean floors simply do not cross MY threshold for importance and therefore even though it is clearly something that bothers you a lot, I will do exactly nothing and expect you to resolve this issue for yourself even though I actively contribute to the problem by living here and freaking loving Ritz crackers."

Unless you WANT to get divorced? Or maybe you want to stay married but you're hoping that if you can make yourself enough of an a$$hole, your spouse will stop bothering you for sex. I don't know. You do you, man.[/quote]

Make sure you never gain any weight or cut your hair.  Your husband hates it.  [/quote]

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