Reply to Most young men are single - most young women are not

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think we need to be more intentional about how we raise boys.  For the last generation or two, we’ve been increasingly thoughtful about how we raise girls—don’t focus on their looks; get them toys like legos that help them develop tech skills; encourage them to play sports and do debate so they aren’t shrinking violets.  We give our girls boys names and buy them clothes from the boy’s department.  But what about our boys?  What are we doing to encourage them to be more nurturing/caring, more expressive with their emotions, more cooperative, more outgoing socially?  Are we buying them dollhouses, signing them up for clubs that require cooperative communication, avoiding emphasizing their strength/stoicism, praising them for being helpful, nurturing, empathetic?  
As much as “shrinking violet” disease was harmful to our girls, “strong and silent” disease is destroying our boys.  We need to raise boys that will be helpmates and partners to the girls we are raising.  And I will say it is damn tough.  I thought counteracting society’s messages to girls would be hard but it really hasn’t been that bad.  But the constraint stream of violent and sexist stuff directed at boys is just overwhelming. [/quote]

So we've made girls into boys, now let's make boys into girls? No thanks.[/quote]

Jeez, this pretty much illustrates the problem in one DCUM exchange. Thoughtful post about how boys can be raised to be more well-rounded, empathetic and happy. Response is, what, you want to make them sissies? (NP)[/quote]

Women do not like those sorts of effeminate men as partners; nor do other men like them. It's a nice idea in theory, but it doesn't work. We need to start living in reality and acknowledge the revealed preferences of women through their [i]actions[/I], and not what they say. [/quote]

Since when is a helpful, respectful, decent man "effeminate"? [/quote]

You're not fooling anyone. That list was a bunch of code words for act more like a woman. That is not the answer. We don't need a weird, dystopian sexless androgyzoid society. No thanks.[/quote]

You are 100% wrong.  I don’t know whether you are a man or a woman but the majority of American women are desperate for male partners who are more empathetic, more supportive, more helpful, less angry.  [b]All the anecdotal and statistical evidence bears that our.[/b]  We are exhausted doing all the emotional work in the family.  The largest problem these young men have is that they have not been given the tools to succeed in today’s workplace or in Romantic relationshios with today’s young women.   We’ve failed them by raising them for a world that doesn’t exist any more.  I’m not saying androgynous or “feminine”—my son plays sports, camps with Boy Scouts, and is into robotics.  My brothers are very traditional men who ALSO know how to cook, are phenomnenal with babies and kids, are empathetic to others, and generally know how to communicate and cooperate.  It’s not an impossibility.[/quote]

No, it really does not. It's called revealed preferences for a reason. Men are not (completely) stupid. [b]If they knew doing all of that would get them more steady, reliable sex [/b]or a good companion, they would do it. It doesn't. [/quote]

And this is the problem — men thinking this is the purpose of marriage. Guess what? Most women care faaaaaar less about sex than you nut-crazed oversized 14-year-old boys and if they do want it, they don’t have to get married to get it when they want it. [/quote]

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