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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tonight I found undeniable proof my husband of almost 20 years has been cheating on me. Probably multiple times with multiple partners over an extended period of time, both locally and on business travel.

I'm in shock because he's very loving and we have regular sex.

He doesn't know that I know, and I'm not sure I should confront him. The thing is, I love him and I don't want to get divorced. We have 2 young children we both love. I'm hurt, but somehow I feel like if I were a better wife this wouldn't have happened, and if I can just go on like I don't know, we can continue on and stay together. I'm so scared he will fall in love with someone else, but if it's just more sex he wants, I can live with that. I think.

I'm not sure what to do. Can people go on and ignore things like this, forever?

Please be kind. This is one of the worst nights of my life and I don't have anyone I can tell. [/quote]

[b]How can you love a person who so disrespects you?[/b] He doesn't respect you because you don't respect yourself. Your children do not respect you either as they can see his total lack of respect for you.
See the best divorce attorney you can afford and throw him out. Immediately and permanently sever all contact between you and him and him and your children. 
Take him for everything he has.[/quote]

Because every spouse disrespects the other spouse at certain points in a marriage.  People can do bad things.  For example, hiding financial problems, quitting a job without spousal approval, secretly having an abortion, lying about feelings, addictions, becoming overweight/obese etc.  you could technically say in all of these examples that one spouse disrespects the other spouse.  It’s up to OP to determine how much value she places on fidelity. [/quote]

This is the sober truth about staying married. You put up with a lot and you also have to learn how to demand a lot (in a good way).[/quote]

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