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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We know OP. Our DC who attended the mediocre public has a much more successful career. Soft skills should be taught in college.[/quote]

I am not sure the term soft skills is accurate. Developing leadership skills and a task focused work ethic are not “soft” endeavors.

I am from a poor single mother home. Awful circumstances, although I didn’t process it that way at the time. I went to Duke on athletic scholarship. Socially it was terrible as I had nothing in common with the elite kids there. But it really didn’t matter. I was there for a social life. Had to earn my keep athletically and get the most out of a free education. Riding the bus between east and west campus - I often reflected how privileged I was to get a first class education. I worked in a union during summers and knew the other side of life. Don’t want to paint the university as uncaring. My mother, with health and addiction problems, was only able to visit me once. My religion professor - I did not like humanities but accurately thought religion would round me out having zero background in any form of religion - got wind of my mother’s visit and invited to attend my class. My mother, who was not a student of any kind and did not attend college, felt like a million bucks. The professor also invited my mother to dinner with his family. My guess is that some of the Big 10 and SEC schools which recruited me would have had the same kind of family environment, but credit to the Duke faculty for stepping up. They let me in a competitive honors program, too - which they should not have but worked like heck to justify their choice - typing up my 125 thesis on the road after a top finish in a national competition.

Fast forward a generation. Sent my kids to public school - could not have imagined spending money for a private high school. Learning how to navigate large institutions is a life skill my daughters learned. Both were national merit finalists, and while they enjoyed a life completely unknown to me when I was young, they were hard workers and adopted the kind disposition of my mother. They went to Princeton - an excellent school but not a good value - and paying for it with no loans or debt was not easy, but I had to pay my good fortune forward. I think they would have been every bit as successful if they took the Echols Scholar offers at UVA, but Princeton was a place I was admitted but could not go due to finances (no athletic scholarships), and at least one of my kids went there (I discouraged it) as an honor to me. I admit my wife was a great student educated at the best schools in Montreal, but she shares my public school preferences.

I did exceedingly well in professional school and career. Certainly not smart like my kids. But the ability to focus and compete made the difference. And I didn’t pick up these attributes from Duke. The best thing for me was having no helicopter parents and learning to be accountable to the person in the mirror from early on. Mistakes were my own. [/quote]

Thank you for sharing this - very inspiring story.[/quote]

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