Reply to Wife takes care of the 'other woman', ends her DH's affair and his marriage in one evening

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^ you need to read more critically.  No one is justifying murder.  Lots of people are recognizing that the wife was abused (gaslit, etc) and had a breakdown as a result, and was obviously (and understandably) not stable at the end.[/quote]

And that if you want to greatly reduce your chances of a crazy person going after you or your family, don’t f@“”ck and maintain a relationship with somebody that’s married.  Pretty simple.[/quote]

We have different takes on this. For me the lesson is that your marriage should not be the only thing that you have going for you. You need close friends and family. You need to build a world outside your marriage. You cannot own a human being. If someone does not want to be married to you move on. She is dead and buried. And  he is living his life, putting his ugly face out there, using her name to seek attention.

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Yes.  All that can be true AND so can be the concept that getting involved in an ongoing sexual relationship with someone else's husband or wife invites psychosis and danger.[/quote]

You are absolutely right. It's just that the murderous act stands out to me more than anything else.

I am someone who will never cheat or date an involved man. But I cannot understand how one goes from being a victim of cheating to a murderer. It's so senseless. So it's harder for me to focus on that smaller yet obvious lesson.[/quote]

I didn’t either.  Until I was 100% completely blindsided finding out about a multi-year affair two decades into marriage with kids.  Great marriage/sex life/happy family.  I went to a very dark place.  I practically had a nervous breakdown and reality was distorted.  Nobody in our circle ever could have predicted this.  It really shocked so many.  I was not sleeping or eating.  I couldn’t.  That does a number on your mental health.

I had my own income, a great family and was strong mentally so I can see if somebody had past trauma or was slightly unstable prior or had underlying mental health issues—how in that incredible loony fog they could commit a crime of passion.  Insomnia over an extended period of time does a number on your sense of reality.

I have always had a great fear of prison.  I watched far too many prison documentaries.  For a few weeks the thought of prison and what it would do to my kids was the only thing stopping me.  I scared myself.  It really is one of those- unless you lived it (long happy marriage with unconditional trust) you could never understand what it’s really like.  It’s nothing like I imagined or in the movies.  
[b]
I know I would never murder, but I can see why it is common in these situations[/b].
[/quote]

Murder is not a common reaction to adultery.

Adultery is rampant. The most common reaction is to ignore it. [/quote]

She’s a psycho who has had months on end of freakouts here. “No one would have ever guessed it, we were perfect and the world told us so!” The happiest, best-looking friends we have, who earn a lot and are genuinely cool, would not describe themselves that way. That’s the distinction. [/quote]

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