Reply to MIL getting up when baby cried: what would you do?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP your responses make it clear how you feel about your MIL.  Ask yourself would you be as bitter if it were your own mother?  It's a long time you'll have this woman in your life, if you're lucky, so you'd better lose your attitude now if you want your child to have a relationship with her.  (And no, I'm not a mother in law, but a mother who couldn't stand her own mother in law.)[/quote]

My mom listens when I speak and respects my decisions. So there's that. That's what I am bothered by: we communicated before and during the trip. When someone doesn't listen to you or doesn't respect your decisions, it is irritating and hurtful.

I'm not "bitter," I am annoyed and hurt. DH felt the same way--"Why won't she listen?"

I think I'll take the PP's suggestion that we will only stay in a hotel when we visit them, and suggest they stay in a hotel if they don't want to risk hearing a little disturbance until baby is 100% STTN even on travel.[/quote]

You really don't get it, do you?

You keep saying that she did not respect your decision... BUT you only get to decide what YOU do, not what other adults do.

She did not try to stop what you wanted to do with your baby. [b]But you are mad because you could not stop what she did with her son/grandchild.[/b]

I predict that you will eventually driven a wedge between your husband and his mom.[/quote]

Are you insane? No one gets do ANYTHING with my kids that I do not approve of.[/quote]

+2. Plus, even if MIL was "allowed to" get up and being a pain, she should not have done so. She did not respect boundaries. That is not acceptable. [/quote]

Without knowing more context it's hard to answer the WWYD question. Does MIL always do things like this? If so, how do you normally handle this? IF this is new, wouldn't you want to know more about what happened in this particular case? If this is a one off, flying off the handle seems a little over the top. The MIL didn't do anything to the kid at all. This is all about OP not knowing how to handle her annoyance. This has nothing to do with the baby.[/quote]

Here’s the context: the MIL’s son and daughter-in-law are grown-ass adults who:
1) Offered to stay in a hotel, making it clear there were still night feedings for a 4yo—ILs said no, stay with us
2) OP and her husband told MIL/FIL before the trip even occurred that they would of course handle the night feeding
3) OP and her husband told her MIL every night for several nights—and during the day on the second day—to just leave them alone to handle it at night.

That’s the “context.” There’s nothing that justifies ignoring parents when it comes to their own child. And it by definition wasn’t a “one off” after the first night—do you get that? Do you get that several nights of telling MIL to lower her voice and leave them to it makes it inherently, be definition not a “one off”?

Welp, MIL’s prize for ignoring and disrespecting her son and DIL is that baby will no longer be staying with them. [/quote]

You didn't answer the question nitwit. Has THIS MIL done this before? If you're not OP you can't answer that.[/quote]

Yes, she’s “done it before,” in that it happened more than once.

The second time you ever had a glass of wine, even if it was 10 minutes after your first, you’d “done it before.”

So let’s say the first time MIL did this was on a Monday night, and then she did it again on Tuesday, she’d “done it before” by Tuesday.[/quote]

Ok, Not OP, I'm not really interested in your take on what this MIL you have never met before has done or not done. If OP doesn't answer the questions, then this thread is at a dead end.[/quote]

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