Reply to Support Group for middle aged husbands not having sex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do not accept a sexless marriage. If she's not interested, declare the marriage open. Problem solved in 15 seconds.[/quote]

No, we won’t care. Let’s just divorce.[/quote]

If you are in a sexless marriage and don't care about getting divorced, why not just get divorced?[/quote]

Well, obviously men care about divorce to some extent or they just would. It's more that when you get to the point you are sexless or near sexless, you know your marriage isn't sustainable so you cheat hoping you pull it off, but if you don't, [b]you are no worse off if you just divorced. [/b]

I have been in this situation for 4 years. I could have divorced back then but I would have missed a lot of time with my kids.[/quote]

NP.  Wrong in the bolded.  If the cheating is discovered, it affects your family in a worse way and by that family, it means your spouse (sounds like you don't care much about her anyway), your kids, perception of what your family/friends may think of you.  I guess it comes down to your values and if you value honesty, trust, and ultimately how you view yourself and what values you want to pass down to you kids.  If sex is more important than those values, then you might as well divorce and start over again.  If you value what you think of yourself and values you want to pass down to your kids, find some other solution (e.g. marriage counselor, divorce).    [/quote]

But why would a woman who has no interest in sleeping with her husband, and has made clear that that’s not going to change, going to care about the husband sleeping around? Just because they want to control him?[/quote]

In my experience in my sexless marriage, I don't think my wife would care that much. If you are sexless, you are basically indifferent to each other on a romantic level (even if you still care about each other). I believe the people who scream "EVIL CHEATER" are the ones who explained they were in passionate marriages and were blindsided. I get how that would drive raw emotions.

In my situation, it would anger my wife if I embarrassed her or spent family money on another woman but the sex part wouldn't be as big on an issue.

I do think the ones who care are about control and power. It's a way for a woman to deny a man what he wants and he can't get elsewhere. At that point, there is no love or marriage. Cheating is the least worst thing one does.[/quote]

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