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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t believe for a minute that you don’t share finances.  It’s not like your husband goes out for a nice dinner then says “Ok, honey, we’ll swing by Mcdonald’s for your cheeseburger, be sure to venmo me the amount”.

What did you think would happen by marrying this guy and then exposing your kid to a higher standard of living? She observes everything you and your husband do and also what the stepkids do, if her stepsister comes home with a nice guy and says “oh, we met at Yale” your daughter is going to think “too bad I’ll never meet a nice guy at Yale, I’ll never get to even have the chance to go to Yale”.

How exactly is your new husband generous?  What does he actually do that makes him generous?  Giving money to random relatives like Mr. Moneybags or to random charity organizations doesn’t count, not when he’s got a relationship with a real live human being who he can get to know.

I’m not your biggest fan, op.  If you and your husband didn’t have the money, that’d be one thing.  If she wasn’t literally surrounded by kids talking about the things she can’t do, that’d be fine also.  You have really put her in a miserable position, and you need to know that.

Don’t be surprised if she ignores your husband in the future, and then if she ignores you by association.  It is within your power and the man that you married to solve this issue, and you are choosing not to.  This isn’t a boyfriend, this is a husband.  In a year, she won’t have any ties to you either, i.e. she’ll be an adult.  Be careful what lessons you are teaching her.     [/quote]

I think it's beyond generous to agree to provide for a child that's not yours.  Yes you agreed to it but you can't over look how magnanimous a person must be to want to do that.  I don't have that in my DNA.  I would be er provide for another person's offspring.   By provide I mean food, shelter and other basic needs beyond what her mother could give.  It's not this man's job to pay for her daughter to go to college.  Maybe the op should ask her husband if she can temporarily contribute less to share expenses in exchange for her providing more for her daughters education?[/quote]

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