Reply to Would you get an amnio? Ambiguous genitalia at 20 week US

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm so glad I stumbled upon this thread. OP, we are going through a very similar situation. Ambiguous genitalia at 18 week ultrasound and I went through with the amnio. Still waiting on results from microarray. CHOP was able to say that there is genitalia there (which our doctor at GW said wasn't developed) and it matches the chromosomes from the amnio (my husband doesn't want to know the gender).

When I found this I read through the whole thread, it was so helpful to read someone's experience going through this and read how you've dealt with your experience. I just wanted you to know how much I valued reading this and how helpful it was since I've felt completely alone in this experience. I hope you and your baby are continuing to do well and I hope you'll keep updating a bit.[/quote]

Oh my goodness, hi there! OP here. I suppose it'd be a bit redundant and obvious to say I know what you must be feeling right now, but well . . . yeah. If I'm understanding, it sounds like the doctors are now saying the chromosomes and the genitalia on the ultrasound are consistent with each other, so perhaps the 18 week ultrasound was a false alarm? Which, if so, great! But if not, that's also ok! I can imagine (remember) how freaked out you must've been right now, and the loneliness that goes with that, and just want to tell you it's really, really, seriously going to be alright. Definitely once you meet your baby, but maybe even sooner than that once you've had a chance to sit with whatever information you get and mentally adjust to whatever new reality it brings.

I'm glad this thread has been of some use to at least one person out there. All the best to you and your baby! I hope the rest of your pregnancy is smooth sailing, nothing but massages and cupcakes and picking out adorably tiny outfits for your new arrival.  :)

As for me, we're nearing the point when we'll get the final recommendation from the doctors on sex of rearing. The last round of blood testing (for now, anyway) is slated for this week, and then we're going in for the appointment to talk through the results later this month. In the meantime, Adrian gets cuter every day - in addition to big huge smiles, now we're also getting little coos and "conversation" and I'm just *in love.* Like I mentioned before, though, somewhere along the way my brain seems to have just decided that Adrian is a girl, so it takes a little more consciousness now not to refer to them that way. It doesn't help that so many people are operating on the same assumption since that's what we told them when I was pregnant (before things went left at the 20 week ultrasound) - that includes neighbors, the director and teachers at our son's day care, and other random folks here and there. We're just letting it go for now since there's no official word on whether we need to correct them or not, but hearing the teachers rave to my son about his "little sister" when I bring Adrian along to pick him up at the end of the day, or neighbors gushing "she's beautiful" . . . Yikes. (I mean, Adrian *is* beautiful, but still).

We're managing, but this is an awkward phase for sure, and one that's dragged on a good bit longer than we realized it would. I'm definitely ready for it to be over. At this point we've basically been in limbo since April, so whatever comes next will be an improvement either way. And I suppose if I end up in the unusual situation of experiencing gender disappointment 3 months after the baby has already been born, I can manage that.[/quote]

Personally I think "mother's intuition" matters a lot! The doctors can say what they will say, but as your DH says, they're just making an education guess that Adrian "rounds to male."  As an ethical matter, I don't think there's anything wrong with using the gender that seems correct to you at this point. You are extremely informed, so it's not like you're going to go all out and be Extreme Girl Mom and refuse to change course if Adrian identifies as a boy later on.  [/quote]

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