Reply to Would you get an amnio? Ambiguous genitalia at 20 week US

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Checking in,OP. Hows it going?! How’s big sibling adjusting? Everyone adjusting well?[/quote]

Big brother is doing great! Very sweet, still very excited. We're all doing ok, settling into life as a family of four. For me in particular, I'm not healing from the birth as well as I'd like (2nd degree tear), but I suppose that's a problem for another thread. The baby continues to be adorable, beautiful, SO EXPRESSIVE. I swear me and my husband aren't just a couple of besotted parents (ok maybe a little), Adrian really does smile at us!  :lol:

The exact diagnosis is still undetermined, presumably we'll get it after the mini-puberty testing next month. That said, based on what we know so far the doctors' current consensus is to recommend raising the baby as male; that's what the urologist told us anyway. For some reason, hearing that things are most likely headed that direction seems to have broken my brain, even though it's what I expected, because now when I look at Adrian all I see is a little girl. Today I even slipped up and said "her" without thinking. So I guess there's still some latent denial or maybe just general processing that's happening for me. I'm trying not to dwell on it though, since where Adrian is concerned whatever gender we choose is just an educated guess anyway. I mean, if someone's gender is assigned because their parents and a team of doctors literally got together and made it up . . . that's just not a real thing, and certainly not something to get hung up on or attached to one way or the other. My husband is a math guy, and accurately described it as the doctors basically telling us Adrian probably rounds to male. :shrug: At this point, I think we're treating "sex of rearing" as nothing more than picking pronouns and deciding M or F on official forms. We didn't plan to raise our kids with strict gender norms anyway, but this really drives that home.

As all this has been going on, I've felt compelled to be more vocal about the existence of intersex people and the issues they face. I work in media, so I'm thankfully in a position where I'm well-situated to draw more attention, and I want to make use of the platform to hopefully help create a better world, but there's still the consideration of the baby's privacy. I'm not comfortable shouting from the rooftops "my baby is intersex!" because who knows if that's what they'd want - though I'm grateful for the parents who have felt comfortable being open in public, I just don't think I'll be one of them. But maybe if I can use my position as an editor to offer a space for intersex voices, that's still something. I also like to think this thread is its own little piece of advocacy, in a way, that can help the hypothetical future mom who gets a surprise at their 20 week ultrasound, goes to Google, and arrives here.

I guess I'm just musing right now, but I should actually be asleep - gotta get in a few hours before the 1am boob smorgasbord.  :lol: More updates to come. [/quote]

Hugs to you!

You sound amazing.  Adrien is lucky to have you![/quote]

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