Reply to Closed Adoption and found the birth mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Overwhelmingly, research and laws have supported the adoptees rights to information. Laws have changed in most states, and, at this point, they don't even need to change due to DNA methods. Also, the laws were in place to protect the ADOPTIVE parents, not the birth parents, which many here do not realize. Most birth parents want to know, and there is a plethora of resesrch to support that.[/quote]

There is a difference between “knowing” and having your life and decision blown up in your face. I think it’s human nature to wonder if you made the right decision, even 18 years later. Putting a child up for adoption isn’t something I think ANYONE takes lightly, and there needs to be some consideration that it’s a complicated decision, and a personal decision. No one should be able to decide 20year later that absolutely everyone in the birth family needs to know, save for the person or people that made that difficult choice.

These adoptees are taking down everyone in their path, instead of going to the source of their perceived pain, which is their parents. There is no need to involve anyone else, but they feel they have a right to do whatever they want, by whatever means. A closed adoption infers a lot of things, so it’s not like the message isn’t already out there that this was a complicated decision. [/quote] +1  Every living human has something that that don't wish their family and/or the world to know.  We are ALL entitled to our secrets.[/quote]

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