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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I don't think irony is the right concept here, but let's put that aside.  You obviously feel wronged by the fact that someone thinks his/her way of raising kids is better than yours.  Seriously though -- why the vitriol?  Why the thin skin?  If you are so confident in your choices, just agree to disagree.

Seeing your responses though, I can see why you think that you wouldn't be a good primary parent.  But the question isn't whether a bitter, angry, irrational person would be better than a professional daycare worker.  Clearly, the professional would be better in that circumstance, so kudos to your wise (perhaps self-aware) choice.  The question is whether a parent who is dedicated to being the best caregiver they can be would be better than a stranger who does it for a living.  Someone earlier in the thread posited that they think the dedicated parent option is superior.  That doesn't seem like such an outrageous position to take, and you (and others) just seem defensive.  [b]If you prioritized money or whatever else you get out of your job over the child rearing, that's fine, but let's be honest about the tradeoffs.[/b]

All of this assumes a choice in the matter, and of course, many don't have the choice for financial reasons.[/quote]
I'm the poster who works and has "good enough" childcare for my kids, and believes that parent care would have been better. I ought to support you but I don't after this comment because of the bolded part. Your choice of words belies your neutrality because you clearly think that "money or whatever else you get out of your job" could not possibly be more important than childrearing.

I will break it down again:  it's not about "money or whatever else you get out of your job." It's the importance to the interests of family AS A WHOLE, not just childcare in isolation.

Once again - I believe I would have done a better job caring for my kids than any of their preschools or nannies.  Preschools and nannies have provided them with great care while mine would have been better than great.  But the incremental benefit of "better than great" is not large enough to erase the benefit to the family AS A WHOLE derived from my employment.  And I won't allow anyone to describe the benefit to the family AS A WHOLE in the clearly derogatory language of "money or whatever else you get out of your job" that you chose. [/quote]

I didn't mean it derogatorily.  A lot of people get personal fulfillment out of their job.  Some people feel like they are better in the workforce than at home for any number of reasons.  Some people feel like the advantages of the extra money outweigh the benefits of having a parent stay at home without earning money.  I think that whatever the reasons, I understand that everyone has to make the choice they think is best for themselves, their families, and society as a whole.  I just think that people need to be honest about the tradeoffs.  People seem to be offended that others have suggested that there is any tradeoff.  I understand that some people may truly feel that way, but I also understand that others do not feel that way.  It just seems crazy that folks are getting so defensive.[/quote]
When you put it like this, I am OK with this. Of course there is a tradeoff.  As I mentioned, I think we collectively find it very painful to admit we are doing anything than the absolute possible best for our kids.  And it's just not the case that absolute possible best is always possible, and good enough is good enough.[/quote]

I totally agree.  I think we all make decisions short of the absolute very best for our kids because we think the time, money, etc. isn't worth the additional benefit to the kids.  There is nothing wrong with that.[/quote]

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